


There's Something About The Brunet

by Accidentallypoetic



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Evan, Cynthia is a good mom, F L U F F, Feel good sibling bonding, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Connor, Heidi is a good mom, I hate larry, I wanted to be your friend but you saw me kissing your sister and now youre mad, Ice Cream, Larry is awful, M/M, Sibling Bonding, Single pringle Zoe, Smut, Suicide Attempt Mention, Teen Angst, They both just needed a friend, This fic is so happy because I'm just trying to mend my broken heart, Tree Bros, Zoes indigo streaks, just a tad bit of smut, smut later in the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-11-22 18:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11386080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidentallypoetic/pseuds/Accidentallypoetic
Summary: Evan and Connor meet over the summer before Senior year. They both find what they desperately need. A friend. They have a great summer together but Connor starts to feel something more for Evan.... Zoe and Connor want to be best friends again, and when Zoe finds out about Connor's massive crush on Evan Hansen it brings them closer together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan runs into his crush's brother, in a salon of all places.

Evan followed his mother into the salon. Heidi opened the glass door for him to walk in, the ding warned everyone present that people just entered the salon. Evan awkwardly stepped into the atmosphere of loud chatter, hairspray, and nail polish.

“Have a seat hon.” Heidi told her son, gesturing to the chairs aligned along a wall. There were only two seats left right next to each other. Either seat meant he would be bumping arms with another person. After too much contemplation of where to sit he picked a chair and sat down. He twiddled his thumbs and avoided eye contact at all costs.

He saw his mom being taken into the back to get her hair washed and prepped for her trimming. Evan took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through his instagram feed. Photos of all his childhood friends that he hasn’t spoken to in over 5 years began to fill the screen. There was Rebecca chilling on a beach with her parents and brother. Josh with his long time girlfriend at a theme park eating cotton candy together.

Looking through all the photos dropped his mood even lower. No matter how much it sucked to see all these people he barely knew have the summer he wish he had, he just kept scrolling.

Then the ding chimed again. In walked a familiar face.

_Oh shit…_

In walked Zoe Murphy’s brother, Connor. Zoe was Evan’s long time crush, since middle school. When he was in eighth grade and she was in seventh.

Connor walked to the front desk to check in. When the man told Connor the wait would only be about 15 minutes, he smiled and started walking toward the waiting area.

Evan’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t want to talk to him, he didn’t even want to look at him. Of all the people to have awkward run-ins over summer with...it had to be Connor.

He tried to focus on the phone in front of him but his eyes couldn’t help but wander to the empty seat next to him… the only empty seat… which happened to be… right next to him. He started bouncing his leg up and down unintentionally.

Then he felt the presence to his right. He kept his head down and locked on the screen. He didn’t even know what was on the screen anymore. Maybe it was Rebecca or Josh, it could’ve been a dog on a skateboard for all he knew. All he could focus on was Connor’s knee, inches away from his.

Look at the phone look at the phone look at the phone.

“Evan?” Connor said.

_Shit shit shit._

He looked up from his lap and met eyes with Connor. The blue with a hint of brown.

“Connor!” He built up fake enthusiasm.

A silence dropped between them. Was Evan supposed to say something? Return to the phone? Leave?

“What are you doing here?” Connor asked, no hint of happiness in his voice.

“I-” He looked to the room where Heidi was “Well I -- My mom is -- her hair needed to be cut and this was -- was really the only place i -- in town.” Evan attempted to explain.

Connor sighed and brushed his hair behind his ear.

Another silence. Was he supposed to ask why he was here?

“What about you?” Evan smiled kindly, asking genuinely as he really did wonder what Connor was doing here alone at a salon.

“Nothing.” He furrowed his brows as if Evan insulted him.

“Oh- I- I’m sorry,” Evan instinctively said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you at all-”

“What?” Connor asked, “Oh, shit my bad. It’s the face isn’t it…?”

“Well that… and your tone and your body language, I -- I’m really just getting an overall negative vibe like you don’t want to talk to me.” He spit out before he could catch the words.

“Oh…” He shook his head, “I’m really not good at… well, conversations in general seem to be a big struggle for me.”

Evan laughed, scratching his knee nervously.

“Something funny?”

He immediately stopped laughing, “No! I--I--It’s just because I--I really struggle with that too. I really- honestly don’t know why I laughed -- you see because my mom is trying to f--force me to get help with it- sorry that’s a lot of information and y-you probably don’t care-”

“Oh.” He shrugged simply. “My mom’s forcing the family to not fall apart… like she can keep it together with scotch tape.”

They shared a moment of laughter.

“Any plans for the rest of summer…?” Connor asked, moving the conversation away from his mother. Evan assumed the question was only for the purpose of avoiding an awkward silence.

“Well not really… I might take up a job if I’m feeling adventurous… I really don’t know.”

“Your idea of adventurous is taking up a summer job?”

Evan nodded.

“Well isn’t that just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughed.

“What about you?” Evan asked, “Summer plans?”

He lightly groaned, “My parents already tried to take a family trip to the beach, but Zoe was bringing her friends so I rudely declined.”

“Oh, that--thats unfortunate-”

“Zoe, you know Zoe, right?” Connor said.

“Yes yes yes of course I know Zoe. It’s Zoe! Doesn’t everyone kn--know Zoe? Jazz band Zoe. What a lovable girl, she’s really s--sweet. Well I--I’m not s--saying that I love her that would just be so weird…-” He scratched the back of his neck.

“You talk a lot.” Connor stated, picking at his chipped black nail polish.

“Yeah, it--it’s a thing that I do…”

“But yeah, they’re probably going to plan a skiing trip like they do every summer.” He sighed and relaxed in the chair.

“Oh I love skiing!” Evan smiled.

“I hate skiing.”

“Oh yeah that--that’s totally what I meant. I hate skiing. The worst.”

Then a lady walked over from the back of the salon to the section of people waiting and pointed to Connor.

Connor started to stand up and walk away without saying goodbye, then he stopped.

He walked back to Evan and ran his hand through his greasy hair, “I don’t really have friends so I don’t know how this sort of thing works but-” He took out his phone “Can I get your number?”

Evan was shocked. Taken aback. He couldn’t believe what he heard. Connor Murphy wants to be his friend? Someone wants to be… his friend?

“Yes yes yes!” He smiled.

Evan put his number in his phone and he couldn’t stop smiling.

It’s not a big deal, stop smiling. You look like a freak.

“Thanks.” Connor gave Evan a finger gun and Evan gave one back. He sat in the waiting room, now alone, but overjoyed.

Evan waited until his mom came back. She finally came out after thirty minutes.

Heidi walked over and pointed to her hair that, to Evan, didn’t look the slightest bit different.

“Looks good doesn’t it!” She giggled.

Evan silently nodded in agreement as they walked out of the salon together.

Evan got into the passenger seat as Heidi said, “I saw that kid from your school getting his hair washed, I couldn’t help but chuckle… do you know his name? Did you say hi?”

“Who? Connor?”

“That’s his name! Did you talk at all?” She inquired.

“No, he said hi and--and I said hi back, that’s all.” He lied, not wanting to start conversation.

“Oh, okay.” She gave her son a smile and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, Evan!”

“I--I love you too…” He said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan get some ice cream at, you guessed it, A La Mode. (How many references can I make to the musical? I don't know I lost count)

“Dinner!” Cynthia called to her family from downstairs.

Connor closed his book and came out of his locked room. In the hallway he found Zoe. She half smiled, and for some reason, whether it be because he was in a good mood or because of the event that took place yesterday in the salon, he smiled back. Zoe walked down the stairs while Connor sped past her and slid down the sturdy banister.

“Connor, what the hell?” Zoe failed to hide her entertained laughter.

He shrugged as he stepped into the dining room where he found his father sitting alone at the table. He took the seat next to him as his mom set the dishes of fresh salmon with asparagus at the table mats. Zoe soon joined, the seat across from Connor.

Cynthia was the final family member to take a seat, “Well I hope you all enjoy,” She smiled brightly, looking around the table.

“This looks like something you’d find in a professional restaurant.” Connor complimented.

She looked to her son, “Why… thank you, Connor!”

“Wow and it tastes amazing too!” He chewed on the fish splashed with lemon.

“That’s very kind of you.” She smiled, “Larry, dear, anything interesting happen at work today?”

He took a bite of his food, “No. Same old same old.”

“Better than a bad day, right?” Connor smiled at his dad.

A silence fell over the table as Cynthia attempted to keep conversation going.

“Zoe, anything fun today?”

Zoe poked at her asparagus, “I chatted with Alana for a while… I guess.”

“Oh! How is she doing?”

“She’s fine, she just wanted to tell me about a new book she found-”

“Ooh, I’ve been looking for some new reads,” Connor chimed in, “What book?”

“Okay, are you high or something?!” Zoe raised her voice.

“Zoe!” Cynthia yelled.

“No, it’s okay, mom.” Connor wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up. “Thank you… for dinner.” He turned away from his family and ran upstairs to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Of course. This is what he gets for trying. Just trying to be friendly. A little out of his comfort zone. If this is how it’s going to be why should he try?

He stared at the phone on his bed.

_Should I text him?_

This seemed to be the thought running through his mind for the past 24 hours. He just couldn’t build up the courage to do it.

If you want to be his friend you have to text him eventually.

He stared at the screen.

He’s probably forgotten all about our interaction.

He opened up his messages and started typing out the text: Dear Evan Hansen

_Dear Evan Hansen?! That’s way to formal!_

He typed again: Hey Evan, it’s Connor. Just thought I’d say hi.

His thumb was nearly on the ‘Send’. The longer he waited the more the hesitation built up inside.

The knock on his door startled him, it’d been so quiet.

“Connor, sweetie, can I come in?” It was his mom.

Before he replied “Yes” he saw that he’d accidentally sent the text. He let out a small squeal.

“Connor?!” His mother called.

“Yes! Come in.” He sighed.

“Everything alright? Why’d you scream?”

He took a pause to think of a lie, “Just, hit my toe.”

“Oh okay.” She walked in and sat on the bed, at Connor’s feet. “I just wanted to come in and apologize for your sister’s behavior.”

“It’s okay, mom, really-”

“No, I want to encourage this positive attitude!” She scooted closer, “It makes me so happy to see you happy!”

“Well, thank you, but it’s Zoe’s fault not yours.”

She sighed, putting a hand on her son’s knee, “I love you, Connor.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he heard those words from his mother. He was so taken aback it took him a minute to come back with, “I love you, too.”

She smiled wider than Connor thought possible.

Suddenly the phone buzzed.

“Who’s that?” Cynthia asked.

Connor looked at the phone, Evan texted back! He texted back! He texted back!

“No idea… must be a wrong number…” He said.

“Well, I’ll leave you alone now, sweetie. Goodnight.” She kissed his forehead and left his room.

He quickly unlocked his phone to see the full message:

Evan: Hello Connor! It’s nice to hear from you!

Nice to hear from me?

He typed: What’s going on?

The conversation continued:

Evan: What?! Nothing’s going on, why would something be wrong???  
Connor: Evan, I meant ‘What’s going on’ as in ‘How have you been’  
Evan: Oh lol. Nothing really. I’ve kinda just been waiting for a text from you.

Connor chuckled to himself. Evan waiting on a text from Connor?

 

Evan: Is that weird?  
Evan: Sorry

 

Connor tried to think of what to say back, he didn’t really think of a conversation topic. What does he say? He’s rarely had normal, casual conversations through text.

 

Connor: No not weird at all. I just didn’t know when the right time to text you was  
Evan: Yeah I wouldn’t really know either  
Connor: Don’t you text that one guy you’re friends with… what’s his name???  
Evan: Oh you mean Jared… he’s not exactly a ‘friend’  
Connor: Shit sorry  
Evan: No it’s okay  
Connor: Do you want to get Ice Cream?  
Evan: ...right now?  
Connor: Yeah  
Evan: It’s 8 pm  
Connor: I’m not hearing a no  
Evan: I don’t really have a ride  
Connor: Oh I can swing by and pick you up  
Evan: Well…

 

Connor smacked himself in the face.

_What are you doing!? You’re probably scaring him off! Asking him to an ice cream at 8 PM! Yeah, that’s totally not murder material!_

He was going to take it back, say forget it… until Evan messaged him.

 

Evan: Sounds fun! I’m in.

 

Connor internally screamed as the butterflies fluttered inside him.

_He really does want to be my friend…_

He went downstairs, grabbed the keys to the 2016 Honda civic and started for the door.

“Where are you going…” Asked a voice from behind him, causing him to jump. He turned around and there he saw Zoe, looking nervous with her arms folded.

“Out.”

“No shit…” She sighed, “But where?”

“I’m getting some A La Mode, I’ll be back in an hour… probably-”

“An hour?” She questioned “A La Mode is, like, five minutes away.”

“Why do you care? I’m just high, aren’t I!?” He yelled.

Before Zoe could respond he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

***

 

Evan changed out of his pajamas and put on a striped polo shirt and khakis. He smiled while putting on his shoes. He’s never gotten to just hang out with someone for fun. It was always for something, a science project, a club meeting, to help Jared get his car insurance. But this time there is no purpose. Just two friends getting ice cream.

About 15 minutes after he texted Connor the address there was a knock at the door. He opened it to Connor. His hair looked so much nicer than it did yesterday. It fell down to his shoulders, the dead ends were cut off, it was fluffy and full of volume.

“Your hair… looks cool.” Is all Evan managed to say.

“Thanks!” He grinned, “Ready?”

Evan nodded, stepping out of the empty house and locking the door.

“So where are we going?” He asked, “There’s a good one about twenty minutes from here, or that one on the corner of-”

“A La Mode.” Connor laughed.

“I’ve never been there,” Evan said timidly.

“Don’t be so nervous, it’s only best ice cream you’ll ever have!”

He opened the door for Evan and jogged around to the driver's seat. He sat down and put the car in drive.

When the boys left the neighborhood Evan glanced at Connor’s hand on the wheel. His nails were freshly painted black.

“Oh my gosh!” Evan laughed to himself.

“What?” Connor asked.

“Ye--Yesterday when we s--saw each other at the salon,” He giggled “You were getting your hair done and your nails painted!”

Connor didn’t look the least bit entertained, his grip on the wheel tightened and his eyes became more focused.

When Evan saw Connor’s reaction he immediately felt like the worst person alive, “God, I’m so sorry… that sounded mean.”

“Yeah… lil bit.” He muttered.

“I guess it’s just that I never imagined tall, scary, intimidating Connor Murphy getting his hair done then his nails glamored up.”

“Scary?!” Connor shouted.

“No no no!” Evan exclaimed, “I’m not making this any better…”

“No it’s fine. I get it. Connor Murphy. ‘The kid who threw a printer at his second grade teacher’!” He grit his teeth, “I’ll always be a freak to people…”

“Oh my god… this -- this -- this is such a mess! I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to -- to hurt you!” Evan mentally slapped himself.

“CONNOR MURPHY THE GODDAMN FREAK!” He yelled.

Evan reached out his hand and put it on his shoulder, “Connor… I--I’m s--so sorry. I’ve never had a friend… someone to talk with… someone who’s there for me.”

Evan didn’t know if it was the hand, or the words, but Connor’s tension relaxed as he sighed.

He took his hand away.

“I’m sorry for yelling…” Connor apologized.

Evan looked to the boy beside him, “It--It’s okay. We all have our moments…”

Connor gave the slightest smile, “Yeah…”

He pulled into the parking lot, it was practically empty.

The boys got out of the car and Connor locked it. They started walking toward the doors.

“Again, I’m sorry about yelling…” Connor said again.

Evan smiled, “It’s okay, I get it.”

Connor held the door open for Evan. He entered the cold shop and looked around. Behind the counter of at least thirty different flavors of ice cream, was a neatly drawn on blackboard. Chalks of pink, green, and blue decorated the board with different combinations of sweets. There were a few tables around the parlor.

Connor nudged him, not realizing he had stopped walking.

“Little overwhelmed?” He joked.

“It--It’s a nice shop.”

“Yeah, my family used to come here all the time… it’s my favorite.” He seemed a little saddened by this.

Evan asked, “What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Oh! Pecan. Hands down.” He answered enthusiastically. “It’s simply the best, I might be biased.”

“Just maybe.” Evan shrugged.

Connor took Evan to the front of the parlor. He gazed at all the different flavors, strawberry, raspberry, white chocolate. Such wide variety. It was only slightly overwhelming.

“Ready?” Connor asked.

“Yeah, raspberry,”

The employee came by with the ice cream scooper.

“Can I get two scoops of pecan in a cone?” He said confidently.

Evan hesitated before asking for what he wanted. All he needed to say was raspberry in a bowl. The employee looked to him expecting an order. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried. He tried to say something, anything. Why couldn’t he?!

Connor nudged his side, “Dude, what do you want?”

“Raspberry in a bowl…” He whispered.

By some miracle Connor heard him. Then he did the nicest thing Evan could think of.

“And raspberry in a bowl.” Connor smiled as the worker scooped up their orders.

“You ordered for me?” Evan smiled at the ground.

“Yeah…” He put his hand on Evan’s shoulder, “it seemed like the right thing to do.” There it is again, a simple comforting gesture. Just a hand on a shoulder, but to Evan it meant so much.

When Connor took his hand away Evan scrambled to get out his cash.

“What are you doing?” Connor asked him as he handed the cashier a twenty.

“I’m getting my cash-”

“Don’t worry about it,” He waved his hand, “I invited you, my treat.”

“That’s so n--nice of you, ohmygod.”

Connor ordered for him and he paid? It was starting to feel like a date… Like a romantic date. Like a… ‘I want to kiss your face and pin you against a wall but I can’t because we’re in public’ kind of date. He immediately scolded himself for thinking that, for one, Connor totally isn’t gay. And, two, Evan has never had a friend so this was completely normal, he just didn’t know.

He brushed that thought away as the young boys went to sit at a seat in a little sit down area.

“Thank you… so much” His voice was slightly breathy as he tried to praise Connor.

“Don’t mention it,” He licked the cone, “My family is loaded… it’s the least I can do for a friend.”

A silence fell over the table, Evan couldn’t tell if it was comfortable or not. He ate a spoonful of the raspberry ice cream. It tasted incredible! Connor wasn’t kidding around when he said it was the best ice cream he’d ever have.

It wasn’t just the best ice cream because it tasted like it, it was the best ice cream he’d ever had because it was now tied with one of the best memories of his life. Hanging out with someone who cared about him and liked him for him… that’s all Evan could ask for. His first true friend that seemed like he would be there to pick him up when he was down. A friend who seemed like he would hold onto Evan and tell him “You are not alone.”.

“I don’t mean to be so blunt,” Connor broke through the silence, “but… is it social anxiety?”

“Something like that… I take p--pills for it. I don’t really like talking about it.”

“Oh, sorry,”

“No no no, it’s okay.” He smiled.

Connor smiled back.

“It’s definitely not diagnosed or anything… but I certainly have something.” Connor sighed, slurping loudly on the ice cream.

“Why don’t you go to see a profess--professional?” Evan asked.

He laughed, “Sounds so simple when you say it. But that would really involve me asking my mom, or worse… my dad, to make an appointment. Then Zoe finding out and laughing her ass off at her mentally insane brother-”

“Hey.” Evan stopped him. Which was new for him, he would always let someone finish but he just needed to speak, “I take meds… I’m not crazy… am-- am I?”

Connor shook his head, reassuring Evan.

“Ex--Exactly. So why would Zoe laugh? And what's so bad about your mom knowing? She wants to help you… doesn’t she?

“Well… yeah.”

“Yeah… if you n--need help… it’s okay to ask for it.” He remembered his mother's reassuring words from a long time ago.

“Thanks, Ev.” A small smile appeared on his face as his ice cream disappeared into the cone.

“So you eat ice cream from bowls?” Connor flipped the conversation topic.

Evan looked up, taking the now empty spoon out of his mouth. “Yeah, I hate when -- when you’re ju--just trying to, like, enjoy your ice cream but it won’t stop dripping over your fingers and -- and then you’re left with sticky hands and then you can’t find a napkin anywhere so you go for hours with these sticky hands and it -- it’s just the worse.”

Connor laughed aloud, “Okay okay okay. I see your point.”

The night went on, one hour turned into two as they lost track of time in the conversation. It was too much fun. Neither one wanted to go home. They wanted to talk all night. They would’ve if they could, but sadly they needed to get back before the families got worried.

Connor pulled up to Evan’s house. Before Evan got out he turned to Connor and said, “Thank you so much. I had a lot of fun.”

“Let’s do it again sometime.” Connor replied.

The boys smiled to one another before Connor drove off.

What an amazing night. Evan thought as he opened the door.

Something he didn’t expect to see when he walked into his home was his mother worriedly pacing back and forth in the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proofread this, I am so sorry for any mistakes!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short but... yeah I don't have an excuse.

“Where were you!?” Heidi shouted at her son. She raced across the room to squeeze Evan tightly. Evan could feel her sobbing. “I was so worried. I called you so many times, you never picked up!”

“I’m sorry mom-”

“Where were you, Evan?” She pulled away from him and crossed her arms.

“With a friend...” He answered.

“Who? Because it isn’t Jared. He said he didn’t know where you were.” She confronted, “I didn’t know who else to call…”

“Connor!” He suddenly shouted.

“What?”

“I was with Connor…”

“...You said you didn’t know him.”

“Well I do now. We were at A La Mode.”

She unfolded her arms and brought her hands to Evan’s shoulders, “Please just… answer   
your phone next time.”

Evan nodded to the most important woman in his life.

“I’m going to bed, Ev. Goodnight.” She kissed his cheek.

As his mom walked down the hallway he said, “I love you.”

She quickly turned around, a smile plastered to her face, “I love you, too.”

Evan suddenly noticed how tired he really was. His eyes drooped low as he changed his   
clothes. He hopped into his bed, too hot for any sort of cover over him. The light from his phone illuminated the dark bedroom.

One text from Connor.

He opened it up and stared at the screen, his eyes threatening to close.

 

Connor: Had a lot of fun. Hope you enjoyed A La Mode!

 

Evan immediately texted back

 

Evan: Yes It certainly was the best ice cream ever. Thank you so much again for   
everything.

 

Just as his eyes started to close the screen lit up with a message.

 

Connor: Anytime

 

***

 

Connor had been sitting in the driveway for at least five minutes now. He didn’t expect Evan to text back again, he was probably beyond tired. Connor only felt a little bad keeping him out this late at night. But over all other emotions he was just… happy. He couldn’t stop smiling to himself, he let out a slight chuckle as he stuffed his phone in his pocket and got out of the car.

As he started unlocking the front door, as quietly as he could, he was startled to see the living room light still on. He shut the door behind him and he started carefully tip-toeing to the staircase.

“Connor?” Called a familiar voice.

Connor deeply sighed as he walked into the living room, where he spotted Zoe in her tank top, shorts, and cardigan. She looked ready for sleep but there she lay on the leather couch, watching TV.

He fully expected his sister to stand arms crossed with the glare from Hell. Instead, she calmly sat up and turned down the volume on the television.

“It’s been a little over two hours, Connor,” She stated the obvious, as if Connor was not aware, “Where were you?”

“I told you I went to A La Mode.” He leaned against the wall across the room from her.

“Yes you did tell me that, but what were you doing there for two hours? Trying all possible flavors?” She kept a straight face, but it still wasn’t aggravated, rather pleasant.

“Even if I was, why does it concern you?” He defended himself. He really didn’t have a reason to, he knew this, it was almost out of habit.

Zoe sighed as she stood up and walked over to her older brother, “Connor I really just-” She groaned, “Ever since dinner I couldn’t get you out of my head…”

“Oh are you confessing your love for me, now?” Connor snarked.

Zoe scoffed and hit his shoulder, “Oh shut up!” She brought her eyes up to meet his, “Remember when we were younger and we would ride our bikes around Ms. Kains house and annoy her everyday… when we stuffed all our Easter eggs in her drain pipe.” She chuckled “Or when we shouted Shakespearean quotes through her window that she never figured out how to close.” 

“God we were weird kids,” Connor smiled.

“Yeah we were.” She nodded in agreement, “Remember when we were wrestling and I accidentally knocked out your front tooth, and you were so upset that you pulled out my barely loose tooth-”

Connor hid his amusement, “Why are you bringing all this up?”

“What I’m trying to say is that I miss when we were best friends Connor.”

“That was years ago.”

“I know.” She shook her head, “I miss you Connor! I never get to talk to you anymore, all of our conversations are just yelling. You’re high all the time!”

“-I’ve been sober for a week-”

“I feel like I don’t know you.” When the final words were said, it was obvious she was holding back tears.

“I feel like I don’t know you either…” Connor looked down at the ground.

A somewhat comfortable silence fell over the two siblings. Zoe laughed, “Shit.” As a tear fell down her cheek. Connor put a hand on top of her head and pulled her into his comforting chest. As the comforting gesture slowly became a full hug, it was as if they understood. Like they knew what each other wanted to say.

Zoe detached from the hug and wiped her eyes.

“So, big brother,” She went to sit back down on the couch, “What were you doing out so late?”

“I guess I just have to tell you now, don’t I?” He grinned as he took the spot next to her. He brought his legs up next to him.

“Yep!” She giggled.

“Well yesterday, I went to get my hair and nails done…” Connor began telling the story of Evan Hansen to his sister. To his surprise, the witty comments were limited and no fight broke out between the two. He went on to tell her about when he accidentally texted him, and then him ordering for Evan and the story went on for longer than he expected. He’d only met Evan yesterday. There was just something about the blond that made him so happy.

He wrapped up the story summing up what their two hour conversation was about.

“He’s just really nice, and I -- I am so… happy?” He didn’t make eye contact with her.

“It’s okay to feel emotions,” She gave him a hug, “You two sound like a good match for each other.”

“I hope I get to see him soon,”

“I’m sure you will.” She gave a soft smile, “Thank you for telling me.”

“Why?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, it just made me feel included.”

Before Connor could get emotional, he stood up, “I’m going to head to bed.”

“Oh! Connor…” She grabbed his hand, “If you ever… need someone, ya know, to talk to-”

“Got it.” He started walking away.

“Oh, and, Connor,” She said again.

Connor could tell that Zoe didn’t want the conversation to stop.

“I’ve always loved your long hair, even though dad doesn’t.” She scratched her arm.

Connor was almost to the staircase when he turned to her and smiled, “You should put those indigo streaks back in your hair, sis.”

She nodded and stroked her hair.

“‘Night Con.” She walked back to the TV.

“‘Night Zo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love sibling bonding moments so much! I'm sure that there will be a lot more in the chapters to come.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan hasn't seen Connor in a few days and desperately wants to. When he gets a text from Connor to hang out he's more than excited! It's only when he does something incredibly stupid that he regrets even coming.

Evan had been texting Connor for a little under a week now. The boys hadn’t seen each other since the ice cream outing. Evan was dying to see Connor, the text conversations just weren’t doing it anymore. He wanted to see his long wavy hair, his bright smile, his blue eyes.

 

Suddenly Heidi came through the door, “Good morning sweetie.”

 

“Morning, Mom.” Evan sleepily replied.

 

“I have about an hour before work… come eat breakfast with me?” She smiled.

 

The sight of his sweet mother’s smile made his heart ache, he just couldn’t say no. “Of course, Mom.”

 

“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen!” She closed the door and Evan was left alone.

 

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He walked over to his closet and put on a plaid button up and khaki shorts. He of course preferred pants, but the summer heat didn’t allow him to have comfort.

 

He walked down the hall to find his mom making him a plate of waffles topped with strawberries and whipcream.

 

“I thought that we could just have a nice breakfast, like we used to.” She set the plate on the table and sat down.

 

Evan sat in front of the stack of three.

 

“Three, that sure is a lot.” He said.

 

“A growing boy needs to eat!” She smiled as she bit into the waffle.

 

There was no conversation while they ate until Heidi finally said, “You never told me about Connor. I know it’s been a few days now, but I still want to hear about it.”

 

“There isn’t much to say,” He told her.

 

“Well, can you tell me about him, what’s he like?”

 

Evan thought for a moment before answering. What was Connor like? “Well, he -- he’s very, uhm, sweet. And he has a quick temper but it’s so obvious that he’s trying… trying to be understanding.”

 

Heidi didn’t speak, she expected a quick appearance description from Evan but this was so much better.

 

“Quick temper? Did he hurt you at all?” She asked.

 

“What?! No, of course not. He’s not like… a -- a freak…”

 

“I didn’t say he was.” She responded, “I’m sorry if it came off that way, I’m just so excited to see you making a friend outside of Jared!”

 

“Y--yeah me too.”

 

Heidi took the last bite of her food and started cleaning up the kitchen while Evan finished. “I hate to say this but I’m working really late tonight. Classes were cancelled so I thought I’d pick up some extra money. Maybe we could go to the water park this summer! Doesn’t that sound fun!?”

 

“Sounds like a blast…” Evan lied. If he was honest he thought that water parks were disgusting and he hated having his body judged.

 

“And you could bring a friend, too! I’m just getting so excited thinking about it!” She grabbed her purse and keys. She kissed Evan on the cheek, “I’ll probably see you tomorrow morning…”

 

“Okay, Mom.” Evan smiled.

 

“I love you, Ev.” She blew a kiss as she walked out the door.

 

Almost as if on cue, Evan’s phone buzzed. He quickly took it out to see a text from Connor. With a pleased face, he opened the message.

  
  


Connor: Hey dude, this is super late notice but my neighborhood is hosting a block party for some kid that graduated this year. I don’t know her and I’ll be hella bored… pls pls pls come.

  
  


Evan most certainly wanted to come. He wanted to see Connor and he would most likely get to see Zoe so that was a bonus. He decided to sarcastically respond as if he were busy.

  
  


Evan: Sorry but I already made plans with my billions of other friends :(

Connor: Evan Hansen. Was that sarcasm???

Evan: Ha yeah

Connor: So when can you come over?

Evan: What time should I?

Connor: Literally whenever.

Evan: Okay see you soon

Connor: Cool

  
  


Evan giggled with excitement.

 

_ Did you just giggle? _

  
  


Connor: By the way my house has a pool so you should bring swim stuff :)

  
  


_ Oh. _

 

Evan really wasn’t comfortable with his body. Especially with Zoe there. He decided to bring his swim trunks and a swim shirt, just for reassurance.

 

Maybe he could make a move on Zoe tonight. Maybe Zoe even liked him back and he just didn’t know it? There were so many possibilities that went through Evan’s mind as he walked into the garage and found his bike. He was more comfortable riding it during the day.

 

He didn’t bother putting on his helmet, he didn’t want to show up to the Murphy’s house looking like a weirdo with a fire truck engine red helmet. He opened the garage door, it loudly squeaked in the light from the outside. He took the bike out and closed the door with the keypad. And with that he was off. He slung the bag containing his clothes over his shoulder and started pedaling down the driveway.

 

Soon enough he arrived to the neighborhood. It was blocked off. He swerved around the roadblocks and went to the Murphy’s. He felt self-conscious, there were tons of eyes looking through him. Judgemental mothers and children. He tried not to focus on them as he got off his bike and lay it gently on the grass.

 

He knocked on the door nervously.

 

“Come in!” Called a woman’s voice.

 

He took a deep breath to calm himself before he opened the door and stepped in. 

 

When he first walked in he was amazed by how big the house was, he almost felt the need to call it a mansion. The high ceiling held a chandelier in the foyer.

 

“Who is it?” Said the woman. The voice came from Evan’s right, which was the kitchen.

 

“Uhm… My name is Evan.” He mumbled, walking closer to the kitchen.

 

“Who?” Out walked a lady with shoulder-length red hair. “Are you one of Zoe’s friends?”

 

He shook his head, “N--no, I’m Evan.”

 

“Evan?”

 

“Evan.”

 

“...Well, it’s nice to meet you Evan.” She reached out her hand for Evan to shake, “I’m Mrs. Murphy, you can call me Cynthia.”

 

Evan gave a kind smile, “I’m Con--Connor’s friend.”

 

“Oh!” She looked absolutely stunned, “Connor’s… friend?”

 

In walked the man himself, Connor Murphy, from outside. He had obviously been swimming, his hair was damp, his shorts were soaked, and there were small water spots leaking through his shirt.

 

“Evan!” Connor smiled and gave him a hug.

 

Cynthia looked at the two boys, “Connor you didn’t tell me you had a friend… coming over.”

 

“Well Zoe was allowed to so I thought-”

 

“No no no it’s not a problem!” She interjected, “I’m just surprised… is all.”

 

Evan stood awkwardly as she watched this exchange happen.

 

“Let me show you my room, Evan.” He lightly tugged on Evan to follow him.

 

They went upstairs, “That’s Zoe’s room.”

 

Zoe waved to them from her bed.

 

“Hi, Evan!” She called.

 

_ She knows my name! _

 

“H--Hi, Zoe…” He shyly waved back.

 

He turned around with Connor, “And this is my room.”

 

Connor opened the door to his bedroom. The walls were a dark grey-ish blue, there were two separate bookcases, and a very nice laptop sat on the desk in the corner of the room. Evan noticed a TV connected to a handful of video game consoles.

 

“Very… spacey.” Evan said.

 

Connor plopped down on his bed, “I guess that’s an adjective for it.”

 

“I’m sorry, It--It’s not a bad thing! I--It’s just so big compared to what I--I’m used to-”

 

“It’s okay, Ev. I wasn’t offended.” He smiled as Evan sat down next to him. “Anyway, I’m so glad you could make it. All I know about the girl graduating is that she’s the daughter of the Mendoza family.”

 

“Well, I didn’t really have anything planned so--so I thought, why not?” He said.

 

“I didn’t really plan on anything…” He looked around his room, running a hand through his wet hair. “Oh! You want to play some Call Of Duty? Or something else? I have quite a selection.” He suggested.

 

“Yeah that sounds great!” He grinned as the two boys walked over to the bean bags in front of the TV. Connor put in his choice of video game and sat down.

 

The blond and brunet played for hours. Occasionally switching the game. They were so entertained getting to talk to each other and laughing at the mistakes each other would make. Evan felt like he could sit here forever next to his best friend.

 

It wasn’t until around 7:00 PM when Cynthia popped her head through the door and said, “Hey, Connor? I’m sure you boys are having fun but I’d like it if you came out and had some fun at the party. At least go swimming?”

 

“Okay, Mom.” He sighed. When she left Connor turned to Evan, “I guess a swim wouldn’t hurt.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” Evan went to his bag and got his swim attire. “Where’s your bathroom?”

 

“Last door on the right.” He pointed.

 

Evan walked to the door and saw that it was occupied, he waited until Zoe walked out. 

 

“Oh hey again,” She smiled.

 

All Evan could do was give her an awkward smile. She was talking to him! What was he supposed to say? How does one act casual around their crush of several years? He wanted to say so many things, tell her all the compliments he could think of, yet words failed him.

 

“So you’re friends with Connor?” She asked.

 

“Y--Yeah.”

 

“He’s a real asshole, right?” She chuckled.

 

“Yeah, totally!” Is what he immediately regretted saying.

 

“What?”

 

“Ohmygod no! I was just agreeing wi--with you because -- because that’s the polite thing to do but now I’m realizing wh--what you’d said and I’m so sorry. Your brother’s amazing. I love Connor! But not like -- like romantic! I’m not Gay!”

 

Zoe stood for a moment, blinking. Then she busted out laughing, “Oh my god, Evan! You’re so funny!” She put a hand on his shoulder.

 

_ PHYSICAL CONTACT. _

 

“Than--thanks,” He laughed with her.

 

She started walking to her room, “I’ll probably be out in a little while, will you be by the pool?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Cool.” She gave a kind smile to Evan and closed the door behind her.

 

Evan felt like jumping for joy, he had a decent conversation with Zoe Murphy! He walked into the bathroom and put on his swim trunks and shirt. He sighed, Connor was going to judge him. He felt ashamed for feeling embarrassed.

 

To Evan’s surprise, Connor didn’t comment even once on him wearing a shirt which warmed his heart. Connor was such a nice person. He felt like he didn’t even deserve a friend this good. 

 

The pool was stunning. It was in the style of a lagoon pool and the bottom was colored pebbles. Evan was quite impressed, he’d never owned a pool himself.

 

“So this is the pool,” Connor stated the obvious, “Since it is over a hundred degrees out here I have made the executive decision to jump in!” He ran around some decorative rocks and performed a perfect dive into the water.

 

As Connor walked out Evan clapped for him.

 

“That was quite impressive, Murphy.” He said.

 

“Eh, I took water polo in middle school.” He grinned.

 

Evan watched as Connor slowly came out from the water and surfaced. His scrawny build, but oddly attractive chest dripped with water. He ran a hand through his hair, getting it out of his beautifully focused face.

 

“You coming?” Connor grinned.

 

Evan realized he was staring, that must’ve been weird as hell. “Oh -uhm- yeah.” He stepped into the shallow end, the cool water eventually meeting his waist.

 

“I’m glad everyone’s at the Mendoza’s and not here. I’m not one for parties.” Connor said.

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

The night went on, the boys did whatever they wanted to. Maybe Cynthia forcing them outside wasn’t the worst thing. As it got darker the violet pool lights came in, giving the pool an aesthetically pleasing look.

 

Connor and Evan sat on the edge of the deep end, pedaling their feet around in the water.

 

“I don’t want to make things awkward or anything,” Connor shyly smiled down, “but I’m really glad that we’ve become friends…”

 

Evan smiled wide, “Me too,”

 

“I feel like if I hadn’t met you, I’d still be a sad kid hiding in his room.” He shook his head, “You make me happy.”

 

“Really?” Evan gasped.

 

Connor nodded.

 

“I--I’m so used to being pushed out. I feel like I make everyone’s life harder…”

 

“Well you don’t.” Connor looked him in the eye. “You make mine easier, if anything.”

 

“That means so much to me. And I am so glad that you’re my friend-”

 

“I wasn’t expecting a compliment back or anything.” He interjected.

 

“Well, I need to tell you that you make me happier too. Really… genuinely.”

 

There was a silence between them. When did their faces get this close? Has Evan’s heart been racing that fast this whole time? His mouth went dry as he stared into Connor’s lovely eyes. The small hint of brown blending with the blue-

 

“I’m going to get drinks, you want something?” He stood up.

 

“I can come-”

 

“No it’s okay, what do you want?”

 

“Uhm, strawberry Fanta would be fine…”

 

“Cool, I’ll be right back.” And with that he left. Evan sat alone by the pool in the dark. Swishing his feet around calmly. Why was Connor acting so weird? That was weird, right? Not normal?

 

“Hey, Evan!” Said Zoe, sitting next to him. She had on a bikini top and jean shorts. Evan was a bit startled by her presence, “How’s it going?”

 

“Casual.” He said.

 

“Casual? That’s good I guess.” She looked back at the house, checking to see if anyone was there, “I wanted to tell you that I think you’re great.” She grabbed Evan’s hand, “I think Connor really needed a friend, someone to talk to, ya know.”

 

Evan nodded furiously, trying not to focus on the hand holding his. It’s only a hand. Just a friendly gesture.

 

“He’s just so much more happy now! It feels great to see him like this. And I just… I know that you played a big part in it. So thank you, for helping my brother.”

 

“Uhm.” Dry mouth. “No p--problem.”

 

He didn’t know if it was her smile, her big eyes staring back at his, or the hand on his but he leaned in to kiss her. He closed his eyes, put a hand on her cheek and pulled her in.

 

“We didn’t have strawb-”

 

Evan quickly pulled away to see a stunned look on Zoe’s face and behind her stood Connor.

 

_ Oh… shit… _

 

“Evan!? Zoe!? What the hell!?” He yelled at the two of them. He threw the Solo cups on the ground. “Is this what I think it is!?”

 

“No-!” Evan tried to explain.

 

“You… you only wanted to be my friend to get closer to my sister!” He hysterically laughed, “I should’ve  _ KNOWN _ !”

 

“Connor-!”

 

“I should’ve known that no one actually wants to be my friend!” His voice became weak, Evan could tell that he had started crying.

 

“Wait no-!”

 

“Because… I’ll always just be a… a freak…” He ran inside the house.

 

“What have I done,” Tears started forming in his blue eyes.

 

“Evan, I think you should go.” Zoe said.

 

“No! I have to make things right-!”

 

“Evan,” She put a hand on his shoulder, “Give him some time. I’ll keep a close eye on him, okay? You really just need to leave.”

 

Evan silently nodded in agreement.

 

Off he went, like Zoe told him to. Riding down the street on his bike, pedaling home as fast as he could. All he wanted to do was curl up and cry. How could he have been so stupid? 

 

_ Just kiss Zoe! What a great idea you idiot! _

 

All he could think about as the tears streamed down his cheeks was how he could possibly make things right with Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So how can Evan make things right? With the help of Zoe and ice cream, he hopes he can make up for his mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would've posted this morning but the Wi-Fi was down *gasp*

The pattern for the past three days had been consistent. Wake up. Text Connor. Wait for a response while crying. The response never comes. Cry even more.

 

Evan had fallen victim to about four anxiety attacks now. Which he had to hide from his mother, so as not to worry her at all.

  
  


Evan: Connor I’m sorry

Evan: Connor I’m sorry

Evan: Connor I’m sorry

Evan: Can you please let me explain what happened?

Evan: You’re the best friend I’ve ever had

Evan: You said I made life easier… is that still true?

Evan: Connor please respond

Evan: Connor…

  
  


It was now the afternoon, Evan lay on his bed. He just wanted a text from Connor. Hell, he wouldn’t even mind a phone call from him at this point. He felt awful and there was nothing he could do. Would it be okay to show up at his door? Would he immediately get kicked out?

 

A small tear formed in his eye, he thought he was done crying. He was surprised he had more tears left.

 

Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

 

He gasped as a frantically sat up and opened the message. Will Connor let him explain? Does Connor want to meet? Connor, Connor, Connor?

 

He felt defeated when he saw the text was from an unknown number.

  
  


UNKNOWN: Hey Evan, It’s Zoe. Text me back asap

  
  


Then he felt a wide array of emotions. Shocked was the main one.

  
  


Evan: Hi Zoe. How did you get this number?

Zoe: Stole it from Connor. Not important. We really need to talk about what happened. Can you meet me at A La Mode in 30?

Evan: Yes I can.

Zoe: Perfect, see you there.

  
  


He wiped his face and stood up. He looked in the mirror.

 

_ Yikes. _

 

The blond put on some actual clothes, he’d been in his pajamas for the past three days. He readied himself so he was at least decent looking. His hair was done nicely, he had put on some deodorant. He was ready.

 

He locked his bike outside the parlor and seconds later, Zoe arrived on her bike.

 

“Can’t drive yet?” Zoe asked, locking the lock.

 

“My mom has the only car.” He awkwardly shrugged.

 

“Oh.” She nodded, “Come here.” She walked to a bench below a tree.

 

“So what’s going on?” Evan asked, “Has Connor said--said anything about me?”

 

“Evan, he hasn’t even come out of his room,” She sighed, “I’ve been keeping an eye on him like I said though. He’s not doing good at all…”

 

Evan held back tears, reliving the moment, “I am so sorry, Zoe…”

 

“And there’s another thing…” She looked Evan in the eyes, “Evan, I don’t… I don’t like you like that.”

 

Evan nodded, he understood. Of course he was hurt, it’s exactly what he didn’t want to hear, but right now, it wasn’t his biggest worry.

 

“Evan, I think you’re a great person, but I barely know you. And If you want to be Connor’s friend then I really don’t think it would be a smart idea-”

 

“Yeah…” His voice was breathy, “Yeah, no, I understand.”

 

“Thank you, Evan. I bet a lot of guys wish they were as sweet as you.” She smiled.

 

He knew she was only trying to soften the blow but the compliment felt good coming from her, “So how can I make things better…”

 

“Well, Connor’s very hard to reach when he’s like this.” She warned, “But seeing how he acts when talking about you, and when he’s around you… I think you’ll be able to talk to him.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes,” She nodded, “With the help of his favorite ice cream.”

 

Evan chuckled, “Is that why you brought me here?”

 

She nodded and stood up, “Let’s go,” She stretched out her hand, waiting for Evan to take it.

 

He gladly took it, they walked into the ice cream shop.

 

“Do you know his favorite?” Zoe asked, “Last I knew it was vanilla-”

 

“Pecan.”

 

“Pecan?” She asked. “What a weirdo.”

 

“What can I get for you two?” The lady asked.

 

“Can I get pecan in the biggest bowl you have? And to-go please!” She smiled wide at the worker. She turned to Evan and whispered, “I try to be as nice as possible to all workers to make up for how rude my father is…”

 

“Will this be all?” She asked the two.

 

“Actually…” Evan spoke up, “Can you put a cone in the bag…”

 

“No problem,” She said, obliging.

 

Zoe flashed a smile to Evan while she paid.

 

“I’m sorry, if--if I would’ve known, I would’ve brought money-!”

 

“Sshh, Evan, It’s okay.” She grinned, “I got ya covered.”

 

She handed the bag to Evan and they walked out, “Let’s go,”

 

She hopped on her bike and Evan hopped on his. They rode back to the Murphy house, Evan carefully keeping a grip on the bag.

 

When they arrived to the front door, the reality suddenly hit Evan and he started panicking.

 

Zoe opened the door, “Just speak from the heart.”

 

“How do I-- I-”

 

Zoe placed a finger to his lips, “Evan, It’s going to be okay. You got this.” She kissed his cheek, “For luck.”

 

He smiled, “But we’re still just friends right?”

 

“Yes.” She confirmed.

 

“Yeah, cool…” He scratched the back of his neck.

 

It took a few seconds of breathing before he walked up the stairs by himself. He stood in front of the door with the bag of ice cream.

 

He knocked on the door lightly, waiting for Connor’s voice. After a minute of waiting, he knocked again, too scared to speak up.

 

There was still no answer so he weakly said, “Connor?”

 

He thought he heard shuffling around the room.

 

“It’s Evan…” He told the door in front of him, “I brought you something…”

 

Footsteps got closer to the door, and the knob shook. Slowly, the door opened, the slightest bit.

 

He saw Connor’s eye peeking back at him. The sight of him made Evan want so smile, then he remembered the situation.

 

Connor whispered, “What’s in the bag?”

 

Evan leaned in closer, “Pecan ice cream.”

 

He reached his hand out of the small space, waiting for Evan to place the bag in his hands.

 

“Will you let me in?”

 

Connor shrugged in reply.

 

“Connor, I want to talk-”

 

“Maybe I don’t want to talk. Ever think about that?” He snapped.

 

“Can you please let me at least explain what happened?” Evan begged.

 

After a minute or so of silence, Connor opened the door. Evan walked in and sat on the bed.

 

Evan examined Connor, his hair was a little more disheveled than when he last saw him, he was wearing a grey hoodie over a black t-shirt, and jeans with a hole in them. His eyes had dark bags under them, he looked… defeated.

 

Connor sat on the far end of the bed, bringing his legs up in criss cross. Evan did the same, so they were looking each other straight on.

 

_ Speak from the heart, Evan. You got this. _

 

He handed the bag over to Connor, who gladly took it and opened it.

 

“You… you even brought a cone.” Evan thought he saw a twitch of a smile on Connor’s lips.

 

“I’ll start off by saying, I’m sorry.” Evan said plainly, “I shouldn’t have done that, it was stupid.”

 

Connor opened the lid, “No it’s fine if you want to bang my sister behind my back.”

 

“I’m not bang- Zoe and I aren’t- Connor, Zoe doesn’t like me!” Evan shouted. He felt he was saying it more to himself. For whatever reason, somehow, it made him feel better. He said it, which made it seem more real. It was time to move on.

 

“Evan?”

 

Evan was staring again, lost in his thoughts. “Sorry.”

 

“Then why did you kiss her?” Connor ate a spoonful of ice cream.

 

“Because… I thought she was into me… and I’ve kind of had a crush on her for… about four years…” He scratched the back of his neck.

 

“So you were just friends with me for my sister?” He asked, no emotion.

 

“NO!” He shouted, shaking his hands, “I--I’m really happy that I made a friend. Like I said, you--you make me… happy.”

 

Connor laughed, “I think that’s a lie. I can never make anyone happy, I’m just the depressed Murphy!”

 

“I promise I’m not lying.” Evan stated sharply, “When you invited me to get ice cream, you have no idea how excited I was… Connor,” Evan reached out to grab his hand, “You’re seriously, like, the best thing that’s happened to me…”

 

Connor put the ice cream down and stared at Evan, “Evan that’s…”

 

_ Is he crying? _

 

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me…” He sniffed and looked away, “Uhm.”

 

“Your sister and I aren’t and will never be a thing… so, I’m telling you now.”

 

“I’m sorry that I got so… angry.” Connor fiddled with his zipper.

 

“No… you had every reason to be.” Evan reassured.

 

There was a silence. Connor looked up at Evan, blue eyes meeting each other.

 

“You want to spend the night?”

 

Evan stared at him, confused. We’re things okay now? Did he really make everything right? “I didn’t really bring anything-”

 

“Let’s go to your house,” He suggested, “Wait, inviting yourself places is rude-”

 

“No, I think that’s a good idea.” Evan smiled, glad to have Connor talking to him again.

 

As Connor stuffed a small bag with overnight essentials (A.K.A a phone charger and underwear) they started chatting as if nothing had happened between them.

 

Evan was excited to have his friend back, and took note that Connor can get over something pretty easily. But then he wondered if everything was really okay, or if he was holding something inside… 

 

They walked downstairs, Zoe spotted them.

 

“Where are you guys going?” She asked.

 

“Spending the night at Evan’s.” Connor explained.

 

“Oh,” Zoe smiled as Connor headed out the door. She gave Evan a thumbs up as he quickly followed his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank everyone reading this far, it means so much! And I hope you all are enjoying the plot and all that good stuff!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the boys have sleepover...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been too long, I know. I had SO much trouble writing this week. I had like... EXTREME writer's block and I am so sorry for this delay.

They stood on the front porch of Evan’s house. He struggled with the key as he said, “I--I don’t have a huge mansion like you-”

 

“Ev,” Connor stopped him, “I don’t care. I don’t need a huge ass house to be happy. I’m just glad I get to spend time with you.”

 

He opened the door and Connor entered the Hansen house for the first time. It was quaint, but there wasn’t many people living in it, so it was understandable. Connor liked the smallness of it. It was a nice break from having so much space you don’t know what to do with it.

 

“It’s nice.” He commented, looking around the center room, containing a TV, a couch, and some pictures.

 

Evan laughed under his breath, “You don’t have to lie.”

 

“No, I’m serious!” He defended, “So, can I meet your parents?”

 

“My… My parents…” He sighed, “It’s just me and my mom, actually. My dad left with another woman when I was 7 and… and I have half-siblings I’ve never actually met and I’m so sorry I’m telling you this that’s awkward-”

 

“I had no idea…” Connor replied, “I’m sorry.”

 

“Well back to your question, my mom usually doesn’t get home till really late so I don’t know if you’ll get to meet her tonight… I’m, I’m sure she wants to meet you.”

 

“So you’ve told her about me?” He flashed a smile.

 

“Well… yeah.” He shrugged, “I can show you to my room.”

 

They walked into the small bedroom, Connor set his bag down at the foot of Evan’s bed with plaid sheets.

 

Connor tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear, revealing his cartilage piercing and two lobe piercings, of which he’s acquired only recently.

 

“Oh, I didn’t even notice that you had piercings!” Evan looked at them in amazement, “Did it hurt?”

 

Connor rolled his eyes, “Nah. I decided to get them whenever I was angry at Larry so I was kind of blinded from the pain.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Yeah, I was especially pissed when I got the cartilage. He said… he said this -uhm- really awful thing… that I still haven’t forgotten…” Connor looked away, “Shit, sorry.”

 

“No it’s okay,” Evan sat on the bed.

 

“I really try to stay away from being emotional…” He sighed, his eyes watering.

 

_ But only in front of you, because I don’t want you to get scared. _

 

“No, my therapist tells me it’s not good to repress your emotions… I don’t listen but… but maybe you’ll find the information useful.”

 

Connor stayed silent.

 

“You okay, Con?” Evan asked him.

 

The answer was ultimately no. He had so many different thoughts rushing through his head. Evan was genuinely trying to help, and it meant so much to him. To have someone care about him so much was a foreign feeling.

 

“Thank you for the ice cream… earlier.” He thanked, finally finding something to say.

 

Evan blinked, obviously shaken by the sudden topic change.

 

“Well, you should-” He stopped for a second, contemplating, “You should thank Zoe. She cared so much.”

 

“What?”

 

“Zoe is the reason I worked up the guts to apologize.” He explained.

 

Connor sat for a moment. 

 

_ Oh. _

 

Conner didn’t know whether to be angry or relieved. Angry because he thought Evan did it himself. Or somewhat happy because two people he really does care about made some kind of plan together to make him feel better.

 

“Well,” He looked to the blond, “Thank you.”

 

“Is there something on your mind?” Evan asked.

 

_ Yes… but I’m scared you’ll run. _

 

“No,” He smiled, “I’m just glad we’re talking again. Three days felt like… weeks.”

 

“I know…”

 

The two boys sat awkwardly.

 

“So what do you want to do?” Evan asked.

_ Just talk to me. I want to hear a friendly voice. _

 

“I don’t know it’s your house.”

 

“What do you do for fun?” He asked.

 

“I read… quite a bit.” Connor shrugged, “Fantasy books are a good escape from reality.”

 

“I’ve only read a few.” Evan said, “I always get too impatient and read the last page…”

 

“What?! No, you gotta take the story as it comes, that’s what makes them enjoyable!”

 

“I haven’t read in months.” Evan sighed, as if he weren’t proud of it, “I wrote a lot of stories as a kid, and of course my mom was always encouraging of it.”

 

Connor laughed, “I remember writing this one story…” He stopped so he could chuckle, “It was about a teenage boy with short black hair and a black sword, whose job was to protect his family during the night from ‘Shadow Monsters’.” He explained.

 

“What an amazing plot, how old were you?” Evan smiled, thinking of small Connor.

 

“Oh, seventeen.” He said.

 

Evan stared.

 

“Nah, I’m kidding, I was, like, nine.”

 

They laughed together, Connor watched as Evan’s eyes crinkled, the laugh lines around his mouth. He felt his eyes lingered a little too long when he stopped laughing.

 

There was a subtle feeling in his chest and a small voice telling him not to avert his eyes.

 

He quieted that voice but as soon as he did, the thought eating at him screamed. He should tell Evan. Evan deserves to know. He was just so afraid of Evan thinking differently of him. 

 

Of course it was an awful thing that he did… but would Evan leave?

 

“Evan!” He blurted.

 

_ Evan won’t care, it’s okay. Just tell him. _

 

“Yes?”

 

“Uhm-” He grabbed a fistful of his own hair and breathed, “When we… When we weren’t talking. When I was over dramatic about what you did… when I was blinded by my anger… I did something that--that wasn’t okay.”

 

Evan audibly gulped, “Okay… you can tell me, or--or not if you don’t want to-”

 

“No, I want to.” He nodded, he tried to say it. The words got caught in his throat, “I’m sorry this is really hard.”

 

“No--No, take your time…” Evan scratched the back of his neck, scooting closer to the brunet.

 

“About… about right when you knocked on the door…” Connor choked, “I had a bottle of… uhm…” Connor made gestures with his hands, as if the could explain what he was trying to say until he very softly murmured, “Pills…”

 

Evan immediately wrapped his arms around Connor, not wasting a second.

 

“Connor, please…” Evan cracked.

 

_ Is he… crying? _

 

“Connor, please don’t.” Evan buried his face in Connor’s shoulder.

 

Connor held onto Evan’s tight embrace, fully taking in the comforting gesture. Words failed Connor. What was he supposed to say? Sorry?

 

“All of the thoughts just attacked me at once and-”

 

“It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay.” Evan repeated. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry I made you feel used.”

 

“It’s over now, It’s okay-”

 

“No, Connor. What if it happens again and I’m not there?” Evan looked up into Connor’s eyes.

 

“I--I uh-” He stammered in return.

 

“Please… tell your mother as soon as you get home. For me?”

 

Connor closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to fall, “Okay.”

 

Evan held him tighter, “Thank you.”

 

The rest of the day went on. Connor told Evan about his favorite reads. Going into detail, and Evan seemed genuinely interested. Evan showed Connor a web series he enjoyed. Connor often gave a witty comment about it, causing the shorter boy to laugh.

 

The clock now read 8:00 PM. It was obvious they were both emotionally exhausted after the day.

 

“I’m tired.” Connor stated, “But I’m not in the mood to sleep… plus it’s only eight… why the hell am I so tired?”

 

“...You want to watch a movie?” Evan asked, rubbing his tired eyes.

 

“That… actually sounds nice right now.” He nodded in agreement, “What should we watch?”

 

“What do you have?”

 

“My mom got lots of 80s classics from thrift stores.” Evan replied, “Like… The Princess Bride and The Breakfast Club-”

 

“Do you happen to have… Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure?” Connor asked, squinting, really hoping the response was ‘Yes’.

 

“I wouldn’t doubt it.”

 

“We should watch that shit. I love that movie.” He told Evan.

 

Evan looked through the numerous VHS tapes and DVDs. Connor watched as he did so. After only a few seconds, he revealed the DVD copy of Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

 

“Yes!” Connor cheered.

 

“Alright let’s watch it-”

 

“Wait wait wait!” Connor stopped him, “You can’t properly watch a movie without snacks!”

 

“Like… popcorn?” Evan asked.

 

“Well, yes,” He said, standing up, “But I like to go all out.”

 

Connor walked through the archway and into the kitchen. He opened a door which he assumed was the pantry.

 

“Cheez-Itz… nice.” He pulled out the red box, “Pretzels… Cheetos… and… ooh yes, M&Ms!” He set all the food items on a nearby counter.

 

“Do you want me to make popcorn?” Evan asked.

 

“Yes absolutely,” He answered, searching the cabinets for a bowl. He eventually found a blue bowl in the lower cabinet big enough for all the snacks and the popcorn.

 

“Hey… Con?” Evan caught his attention.

 

“Yeah?” He said, opening a bag of cheetos.

 

“Why did you… Uhm… Why did you get your cartilage pierced?”

 

Connor looked to Evan, “Well…”

 

“You don’t have to tell me-!”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Connor walked across the kitchen to the shorter boy, popping of corn as the background noise, “I was eating dinner with my family when I had lightly expressed interest in going to college for Musical Theatre…”

 

“Oh, that’s cool.” Evan smiled.

 

“Well, that wasn’t what everyone thought.” Connor continued, “Larry decided to express his negative opinion on boys in musical theatre and told me to,” He cleared his throat for emphasis, “Focus on manlier things, like baseball.”

 

“Oh… that’s not… cool.” Evan commented.

 

“No, it isn’t. The argument went on and eventually I had threatened to -uh- threatened to kill myself.”

 

“Connor-”

 

“And he told me-”

 

_ Fuck Connor! Get yourself together, don’t cry again! _

 

“That I just wanted… attention.” He paused, breathing slowly, “To which I grabbed my wallet, and bolted out the door.”

 

“Oh, wow, I-” Evan stammered, but was interrupted by the microwave.

 

Evan carefully took it out and started dumping it into the bowl. Connor added to it by putting in the snacks he had taken from Evan’s pantry. He shook the bowl so all the different flavors mixed with each other.

 

“Nice.” Evan stared at it.

 

“Now… We are ready.” Connor joked, picking up the bowl and eating a single popcorn.

 

Evan assumed the previous conversation was done and decided not to push anything else out of Connor.

 

Before going and sitting in the living room they slipped into their pajamas. Connor brought the plain white T-shirt over his head and looked to Evan, whose back was turned. He quickly averted his eyes when he turned his head, blushing.

 

_ God, what’s gotten into you. Evan is your friend, don’t fuck this up. _

 

The boys sat on either end of the couch, relaxed and comfortable. Occasionally handing the bowl back and forth to each other.

 

Connor laughed at every little joke, he genuinely did enjoy this movie. The dumbness of the main characters, the time travel, the historical figures. It struck joy inside him.

 

About halfway through the movie his eyes started to droop. He took all his hair out of his face and put it into a bun.

 

“You look nice with your hair back. I mean -- I mean you always look nice, I was just saying you  _ also  _ look nice with it out of your face.”

 

“Thanks,” Connor laughed.

 

_ Was he watching me? _

 

The movie continued for a few more minutes before Connor decided he couldn’t stay awake any longer. He tilt his head back and closed his eyes.

 

***

 

Connor moves a lot in his sleep, this he knows, he constantly wakes up with the covers kicked off, the pillow practically on the floor, and his feet dangling off the bed. He switches positions a lot, but that morning, he woke up in a brand new one.

 

His eyes slowly opened, sunshine peeking in through the curtains. He smiled when he remembered he was at Evan’s house. He tried to sit up, but was slightly restrained. He quickly realized that two arms were wrapped around him.

 

_ Oh my god. _

 

That morning, he woke up snuggled up with Evan.

 

This must’ve happened during the night. As much as he wanted to fight against it, he was cozy. He felt… safe. He buried himself a little deeper into the blond’s warm embrace, but quickly stopped. He tried to sit up gently, so as to not wake the sleeping boy behind him, but he kept stirring.

 

“Con?” Evan mumbled, obviously still very tired.

 

_ Well shit. _

 

“Morning… dude.” He replied, scared how Evan was going to react.

 

“I thought you’d make it to the end of the movie,” He sleepily laughed, removing one hand from Connor’s abdomen to rub his eye.

 

Connor felt that he just  _ needed  _ to address the elephant in the room, “How did we get in this position?”

 

“Oh, this.” Evan said, “Before I fell asleep, you kinda just… rested your head on me. And -- And I didn’t want to wake you or anything so-”

 

Connor’s cheeks reddened, “You could’ve moved me…” He sat up and took the seat next to Evan.

 

The brunet saw a pink tint spread across Evan’s face as he shrugged, “You seemed comfortable.”

 

“Good morning, Evan!” Heidi walked in, “And good morning to you, Connor.” She grinned, extending her hand for Connor to shake.

 

“Good morning, Ms. Hansen.” He smiled and shook her hand.

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” She then addressed both boys, “I made some breakfast… if you guys would like to enjoy some yummy pancakes?”

 

“Sounds delicious, thanks Mom.” Evan said, tugging on the bottom of his shirt.

 

She walked into the kitchen.

 

“We don’t have to If you aren’t, like, hungry.”

 

“No, I’d love to. I’m so hungry.” He was kind of lying. He wasn’t hungry, but he wasn’t satisfied either. He could only think about Evan and Evan holding him and Evan consuming his every thought at the moment. What was happening? Why was this affecting him so much?

 

Connor sat down at the table, breakfast already set.

 

“Thank you so much, Ms. Hansen.” Connor said, genuinely.

 

“No problem!” She joyfully told the brunet as she sat down, “And please, call me Heidi. It’s easier.”

 

He thought the pancakes were delicious, it was obvious Heidi put effort into the bacon and eggs as well.

 

“My family usually doesn’t eat breakfast together.” Connor said, stuffing bacon in his mouth.

 

“Oh, Evan and I don’t routinely either, I just thought it’d be nice.”

 

“So Mom, do you have work today?” Evan chimed in.

 

“No, I thought I’d take the day off.”

 

“Oh, that’s -- that’s nice.”

 

They continued eating. Connor tried his hardest to keep a conversation with the two Hansen's but all he could focus on was Evan’s messy hair and blue eyes.

 

“Connor?” Evan said.

 

_ Stop. Staring. _

 

“Do you have to leave at a certain time?” He asked.

 

“Uhm-” He nodded, lying, “My mom is probably expecting me home soon. I think we have, like, plans today…”

 

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Heidi frowned, “I’m glad we got to eat breakfast though!”

 

“Yes, thank you so much, Heidi.” Connor watched as she took the plates from the table and put them in the sink.

 

He was only a little mad at himself, but he needed to leave. He couldn’t see Evan right now. He didn’t know what was going on, but he _ needed  _ to leave.

 

“God, It’s already ten!” Connor opened his eyes wide. “I should really be heading home.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Evan said, standing up, “Let’s go get your things together.”

 

_ I’m sorry, Evan. I’d love to stay, but I can’t without doing something… irrational. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn writer's block. I hope the chapter was still okay!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibling bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who left kind words in the comments. All of the comments bring me so much joy and it genuinely means so much to me that you all are enjoying this story. So thank you all for being awesome people!

Connor closed the door behind him. It was 11:30 AM so that meant Cynthia was at yoga, Zoe was probably in her room, listening to her indie music she loves so much, and Larry was more likely than not in the garage.

 

He trotted up the stairs. He was now starting to feel really bad for leaving Evan’s house so early. Evan had been nothing but a sweet and considerate friend to him. And he left… just like that. But he did have a reason. That subtle feeling was now warming his chest again. Dammit, why wouldn’t it just go away?

 

He passed by Zoe’s room as he tightened his bun then did a double when he saw her face.

 

Mixed in with her light brown hair were beautiful streaks of indigo. He brought his hands away from his hair and stared at her.

 

“You’re home!” She smiled and walked over to her older brother.

 

“Yeah.” He set his bag down, “I’m gone for a few hours and your hair’s purple.”

 

“Well, I think it’s more blue.”

 

“That’s not the point I was making.” He laughed, “It looks nice though.”

 

“Thanks, I did it myself,” She giggled, stroking her hair. Then she grabbed Connor’s arm and dragged him onto her bed.

 

She sat down next to him and stared in his eyes, like she was expecting something.

 

“What?” He defensively asked.

 

“Well… tell me about the sleepover!” She tugged on his arm.

 

“It was fun.” He shrugged.

 

“Seriously?” She groaned, “Details. Connor.”

 

“What do you want me to say?” He said, “We talked, I told him about books I read and how much I despise dad. And we watched a movie.”

 

“That’s it?” She stared at him, “Boys are weird.”

 

“Oh, and the weirdest thing happened when I woke up-” He stopped, “Nah I shouldn’t tell you.”

 

“No no no! Tell me!” She begged.

 

“Nah, you’ll just laugh at me.” He stood up and began walking away. He knew he was eventually going to tell her what happened, he just wanted to tease her a little. That’s what big brothers are for.

 

She pulled him back down, “Please!” She shook him.

 

“Okay okay!” He laughed.

 

She took her hands off and put them at her side.

 

“When I woke up, Evan’s arms were around me…”

 

Zoe’s mouth dropped, “No way…”

 

“Yeah, and at first I was like… holy shit.” He widened his eyes, “But then I was like, ‘Damn I’m pretty cozy’.”

 

“What did he do?” She asked, intrigued.

 

“Nothing!” He said back.

 

“Oh my god… What like-”

 

“I don’t know! I asked him and he said ‘Oh you just fell asleep and I didn’t want to move you’ and I was like ‘You could’ve moved me’ and aahhh!” He rubbed his face.

 

“Ooh lala.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Do you like… like him?” She nudged.

 

“Maybe.” He said subconsciously, “I mean NO!”

 

She giggled into her hands, “Oh my goodness.”

 

“No! I don’t like Evan!” He affirmed.

 

“Okay, honestly though.” She looked him in the eyes.

 

Connor looked back at her.

_ Do I like him? I mean, he’s sweet. He’s a genuinely nice person. I’ve never had a girlfriend. Do I like boys? What’s going on? I mean I have always found way more interest in boys than girls. Oh my god, I am gay. Holy shit. I can’t comprehend anything right now. Oh my god I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay. _

 

“I’m gay!” He shouted aloud.

 

Zoe stared at him, blush spreading across her cheeks, “That’s cool.”

 

“Oh my god I’m gay.”

 

“Good for you, dude.” She smiled.

 

He grabbed her shoulders and stared her in the eye, “Zoe you don’t understand. I’m gay!”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with it!”

 

“I’ve never fully realized it! I’m so late in life to be realizing this! Oh my god, I am gay.”

 

“Connor,” She laughed, shaking her head, “You’re only 17. You are very  _ young _ in life to be realizing this.”

 

“I’m gay…” He mumbled.

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

“What do I do now?” He put his head in his hand.

 

“Answer my original question… do you like Evan?” She sat on the edge of the bed, eagerly awaiting an answer.

 

“I-” He sighed, “I don’t know.”

 

Her face unintentionally turned to a frown, “Oh,”

 

“I’m sorry my love life isn’t up to your standards!” Connor yelled.

 

“No!” She shook her head, “It’s just that -- I don’t know, summer’s kinda getting boring, ya know?”

 

He let out a laugh, “My god.”

 

He stood up and started walking out. Zoe played with her newly blue streaks, “We should do something this week.” She said.

 

He picked up his bag, “Yeah, sure.” He smiled, walking into his room.

 

He closed the door behind him and let out a deep sigh. He hopped onto his bed and closed his eyes.

 

_ Do you like Evan? Do you like Evan? Do you like Evan? _

 

The question rang in his ears. It wouldn’t go away, he couldn’t answer the question because he honestly didn’t know the answer. It could’ve just been a really strong friendship attraction, that’s a thing right?

 

_ Do you want to kiss Evan? Do you want to touch Evan? Do you want to grab Evan’s hips and pull him close? _

 

“I don’t know!” He shouted aloud. That seemed to quiet the noises in his head. He groaned. He just couldn’t think about it right now.

 

At around 12:30 Connor heard the front door opening. His mom was home.

 

It was when the door shut he remembered his promise to Evan. He was going to ask his mom for help… 

 

But how… He didn’t know. He decided to wing it.

 

He opened the door and went downstairs, his hands shaking. He walked into the kitchen and saw Cynthia put her purse on the counter and pull her hair out of a ponytail.

 

“M--Mom.” He spoke up and cleared his throat.

 

Her eyes shot up, “You’re home!” She smiled.

 

“Uh -- yeah.” He nodded, “I want to tell you something.”

 

“Oh!” Her eyes lit up. She brought Connor to the dining table and sat down. She held her son’s hands, “Okay, what do you need to tell me, dear?”

 

“Uhm…” He couldn’t think of what to say, he rubbed his hands together nervously, “I’ve been… having trouble being happy for a long time…”

 

“Oh, hon…” Her eyes filled with sorrow, although it was obvious that she was happy that Connor felt comfortable talking to her about this, “I’m always here if you need to talk, I care so much about your health.”

 

“And I’ve been happier lately because of Evan and Evan’s amazing and helps me so much but -- but he told me that I should still get… help.”

 

She stared at him for a moment, at a loss for words, “Okay. Do you want to maybe find a psychiatrist to talk to or-?”

 

“Uhm, yeah… yeah I do.” He nodded.

 

“Okay, well -- well I will get right on that sweetheart.” She grinned and unintentionally laughed as she kissed his forehead. “Give your mom a hug.”

 

They stood up and Connor allowed a smile to spread across his lips as his mom held him tight.

 

“If you need anything, anything at all. A hug, a shoulder to cry on, encouraging words, I promise I’m here.” She held onto him, not wanting to let go.

 

“Thank you…” 

 

“I love you Connor,” She pulled away from the hug and looked up into his eyes.

 

“I love you, too, Mom.”

 

***

 

Connor had just finished dinner with the family and Larry didn’t say anything to anger him, which was a surprise. If anything the conversation was halfway decent. Zoe wasn’t afraid of telling her mom about her day, and Connor even spoke up a few times. The only word he could use to describe it was ‘pleasant’. 

 

He was walking up the stairs when he felt a firm grasp on his upper arm.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” It was Larry. 

 

Connor was hesitant but he was also in a good mood, so he decided he’d let him talk.

 

They stood at the base of the stairs and Larry looked him in the eye, “Your mom told me what you guys were talking about earlier, you know what I’m talking about?”

 

Yes, he knew exactly what he was talking about. He internally groaned, he could’ve gone without Larry knowing.

 

“I think it’s great you’re finally opening up to your mom,” He grunted, the way he always does.

 

_ Oh, okay. That’s not so bad- _

 

“But really ask yourself if you’re telling the truth.” He continued.

 

_ Are you… fucking kidding me. _

 

“You know?” He put a hand on his son’s shoulder, “Just… are you doing this for attention?”

 

Connor glared, “I think I know better than anyone else when something is wrong.”

 

“Yeah, but you said this Evan kid told you to ask for help, right? Are you going to take what some other kid says-”

 

“You know, Larry. All you had to do was  _ not  _ say something that’d FUCK EVERYTHING UP!” He yelled, pushing Larry aside.

 

He bolted for the car keys.

 

“Connor?” His mom worriedly looked at him, “Where are you going.”

 

“Out!” He snapped, running out the door.

 

He sat in the driver’s seat and screamed. He took heavy breaths and repeatedly hit the steering wheel.

 

“I know myself better than anyone else!” He yelled to nothing, “What if I killed myself tonight! Would you even care, Larry?!”

 

Tears started streaming down his face. He sobbed, resting his head on the wheel. He cried loudly, since he was alone.

 

“Why does everything hurt…?” He whispered, between quick breaths. He couldn’t tell if he was hyperventilating or not, but it was extremely hard to focus on anything around him.

 

His body shook with anger and sobs.

 

Suddenly there was a tap at the window.

 

“Connor?”

 

“Z-Zoe…” He softly said through the tears.

 

He shakily rolled down the window.

 

“Con?”

 

He turned to her. Let her see the tear streaks, the red eyes, the horror of emotions.

 

“Oh, Con…” She placed a hand over her mouth as she gasped. She opened the door and slowly helped him out.

 

It felt like she was trying to squeeze the sadness out of him. He didn’t move, the only thing he put effort into was standing.

 

“Con, say something.” She looked up to him, her eyes starting to water.

 

“...Everything… hurts.” He told her, then immediately broke into sobs again.

 

“Connor, Connor!” She sniffed, “Hey, look at me.”

 

He did.

 

“Let’s go somewhere, instead of getting another piercing.” She said, “Okay?”

 

He nodded in return.

 

She walked Connor over to the passenger seat and walked to the driver’s seat.

 

He rested his head against the window and wiped his face. He caught a look of himself in the mirror.

 

Did his eyes always get that puffy when he cried? He looked like someone just punched him in the face and that’s exactly how he felt.

 

The car drove down the smooth roads, Zoe was driving a little on the slow side, which was fine by Connor. He focused on his breathing until the car came to a stop.

 

“We’re here, Con.” She informed him, reaching out a hand to rest on his shoulder.

 

He looked up and saw where they were, the apple orchard.

 

“I thought -- I thought this place closed…”

 

“It recently opened again.” She smiled, “Come on, let’s take a walk.”

 

And they did. Connor was definitely timid at first. Still very shaky from the episode in the car. Zoe led them down the endless rows of apple trees. The garden was illuminated by string lights hanging from tree to tree. It was a beautiful sight.

 

“They really upgraded this place, huh?”

 

“Very -uh- very different from when we were k-kids.” He agreed.

 

Zoe slipped her hand into Connor’s, “We’re alright.”

 

They kept strolling through the gardens, Zoe occasionally making small talk to calm him down. And after about an hour, Connor could put together a sentence without a stutter.

 

“Let’s go to the fields.” Connor said, “That was our favorite place as a kid, remember?”

 

“We would chase each other across the yellow field and you would always hide behind the trees.” She laughed, following Connor toward the wide open space.

 

As soon as he exited the garden he ran out into the open field. The summer breeze hitting his face, blowing his hair behind him. It felt amazing, it felt like freedom. It was only for a few seconds but in those few seconds he felt free. All problems lifted from his shoulders, no Larry, no stress, no future, no past, just Connor.

 

“It’s amazing out here!” He told Zoe.

 

“Yeah, it looks gorgeous.”

 

The two siblings later found themselves perched on a tree branch, sitting together in the cool night air.

 

“Thank you Zoe… so much.” He said.

 

She looked to him, a soft smile resting upon her face, “No problem. I didn’t want you coming home with a nipple piercing-”

 

“No I mean for everything.” He stated, “The ice cream, giving Evan courage, taking me here… it means so much to me.”

 

“Connor, I’d do anything for you.” She rested her head on his shoulder, “Because I love you.”

 

Connor rested his head on hers, “I love you, too. Can we agree to always be by each others side?”

 

She nodded her head, “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I hate Larry so much. *Shrug*


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get their nails done together.

Evan was aimlessly scrolling through his instagram feed. He didn’t hurt himself as much going through pictures of distant friends, because now he had a close friend. And he even had two new followers. Zoe and Alana. Connor told him that if he had an instagram he would follow Evan. He found that Connor didn’t much care for social media. The only thing he had was snapchat because he found the filters entertaining.

 

He occasionally got the pleasure of receiving a photo of Connor with a flower crown. He would pose with duck lips and it made Evan laugh out loud every time. He would send back a picture of the weirdest looking filter and Connor would send back a picture of him laughing, sometimes Zoe was also laughing.

 

He was overjoyed to have found such good friends in the Murphys. They were so kind to him and it was more than he could’ve asked for.

 

It had been two weeks since the sleepover with Connor. Nothing interesting had happened to Evan. He felt like he was just wasting his summer away. Every time he would ask Connor to hang out he said he was busy. Evan was starting to suspect that Connor was lying although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Had he done something to make him upset? Was Connor tired of him? It’s what he feared most. He hoped with every part of him that Connor still wanted to be friends…

 

To his relief, he finally got a text. It was about 10:00 in the morning and he was prepared for another boring day but got excited when he read what Connor said.

 

Connor: Hey, Ev. Sorry I’ve been so busy… I’m going to get my nails done in a few, wanna come?

Evan: Yes, totally! Do you think you can pick me up?

Connor: Sure, and if I’m feeling nice, you can even get a manicure ;)

 

Evan blushed. He couldn’t tell why. Getting his nails done with Connor, it sounded fun. He’s never had anything done to him at a salon.

 

Soon after, Connor pulled up to the Hansen’s house.

 

The second Evan got into the car, he leaned over to hug the brunet.

 

“Hey, Ev.” He greeted softly.

 

“I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever…” He said, “I--I missed you, Con.”

 

“Yeah -uh- don’t know why I’ve been so -uhm- busy…”

 

“It’s okay, we’re here now! Let’s go.” He gave an encouraging smile.

 

They had a pleasant conversation on the way over. It felt like they hadn’t been apart at all. There were no awkward pauses or anything, although Evan noticed that Connor seemed a little timid today. He wanted to say something but decided against it, Connor would tell him if something was wrong.

 

Connor pulled into the parking lot and looked to Evan. He gently took his hand and looked at it.

 

“Well…” He examined the nails, “I am feeling quite generous today.” He joked.

 

“I’ve never gotten my nails done.” He told him.

 

“It feels great!” He opened the car door, “Come on, I think you’ll like it.”

 

Evan entered the familiar salon, Connor right behind him. He glanced over to the chairs where he first met Connor.

 

Evan pointed to them, “Where… where it all began…” He laughed.

 

Connor glanced over and grinned, “Yeah…”

 

They shared a silent moment before a short blonde lady came over, “How can I help you two?”

 

“We would like two manicures, please.” Connor said.

 

“Yes of course, pick out your colors and go sit at the tables over there.” She smiled and walked away.

 

“So what color are you going to get?” Connor smiled, grabbing the black.

 

Evan glanced at all the selections, “I feel black is a little---little too intense…” He laughed, “My favorite color is blue…”

 

Connor pulled out a deep navy blue, “Ooh, elegant.” He commented.

 

“I was thinking more…” He took out a sky blue, “This.”

 

“I think that’s a great color.” Connor approved. Although he would’ve agreed with any color Evan picked out.

 

“So what do you do?” Evan asked when they sat down, “Cause you can’t, like, pick at your nails, or check your phone-”

 

“You just relax.” Connor told him.

 

“Well, if you haven’t noticed I have significant amount--amounts of trouble with that.”

 

“It’s going to be okay, these people know what they’re doing, besides, I’ll be right here.” He looked into his eyes. Connor’s eyes were amazing to look at, he loved getting lost in them. Evan focused on the little spot of brown as he listened to his comforting words, “If you’re feeling overwhelmed just tap my foot, okay?”

 

Evan nodded as a lady with glowing dark skin and slicked back hair came over to work on Connor’s nails.

 

“Hey, Deborah,” Connor greeted.

 

“Connor, always nice to see you here. Who’s your friend?” She motioned to Evan.

 

“This is Evan, my… best friend.” He said, “It’s his first time here.”

 

“Oh, I can get someone whose real gentle.” She smiled and called to a petite Korean girl walking by, “Lillian! You mind taking one more before you leave?”

 

“Sure!”

 

Evan got to experience his first manicure in silence. No one talked and it felt… kind of nice. Connor was right, it was peaceful. Relaxing.

 

Suddenly, there was a hand on his thigh. “You doing okay?” Connor asked.

 

He tried to answer, but was too distracted by the fingers moving up and down in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. The feeling was pleasurable but not in the way it should’ve been.

 

Blush rapidly spread across his cheeks as he nodded.

 

“You sure? You’re looking a little red.” He squinted his eyes a little.

 

_ Did his grip just get tighter? Oh my god…  _

 

“Yeah. F-fine.” He responded in a light airy voice.

 

“Connor your left hand please,” Said Deborah.

 

And his hand was gone.

 

Evan caught his breath when Connor looked away, at his nails. Why did he want the hand back on him? That wasn’t normal… right? Was Connor purposefully doing that?

 

He was clouded by his thoughts, he couldn’t even focus on the amazing arm massage he was receiving. He wanted Connor to touch him again, anywhere would suffice. He just wanted contact.

 

He leaned his head over and nestled it on his shoulder. Connor stiffened, but Evan kept his head in the most comforting place it could’ve been.

 

“Comfortable?” Connor said, voice in a slightly higher pitch.

 

Evan nodded and closed his eyes for a short minute. Connor relaxed which made it even more comfortable. He didn’t plan on it but his head remained there the entire time.

 

When it was over, Connor showed Evan his nails. He was expecting the usual, all black, but he surprised to see on each index finger was the sky blue Evan had.

 

Evan grinned, “Aw that’s so sweet.”

 

Evan showed Connor his, “Looks great on you.”

 

Deborah handed Connor a bill, “We getting our eyebrows done?”

 

He glanced to Evan. He furiously shook his head.

 

“Just me.” Connor replied.

 

“Okay, come on back.”

 

Evan whispered, “You get your eyebrows waxed?” 

 

“Yeah, how do you think I look this beautiful?” He smirked, glancing to see Evan’s reaction.

 

Both boys blushed.

 

“I--I’m kidding.” He said, “Not about the -- the eyebrows, just the-”

 

“Yeah…”

 

_ Is he doing this to mess with me? What is this? _

 

***

 

_ Christ, Murphy tone it down! _

 

Connor didn’t know what had gotten into him.

 

“Aren’t you in pain?” Evan smiled while looking at Connor’s freshly sharp eyebrows.

 

“No. I’ve done this so many times I’m kind of numb to it.”

 

“Is that how beauty works?” Evan asked.

 

“Yes, Evan, of course.” He nodded while wiping his face with a damp towel, “My face doesn’t even turn red anymore, so that’s a plus.”

 

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

 

Connor stood up from the table, “You wanna… walk around the mall for a little while? I--I don’t know, It’s just been so long since we’ve seen each other.”

 

_ And you know exactly why. _

 

“Yeah, sure.” He smiled, walking out of the salon.

 

_ I’m sorry, Evan. _

 

Connor had been avoiding Evan. He needed to give himself some time to think about his feelings and himself. He didn’t think it would take two entire weeks but it was for the best. He thought he would be okay to see Evan but… damn. The problem was staring him right in his face. Those adorable blue eyes. Those happy, puffy cheeks. That. Damn. Smile.

 

He still wasn’t completely sure if he was crushing on Evan or not. But the way he felt his heart skip whenever Evan blushed, pointed the answer to  _ CRUSHING _ .

 

He didn’t want to be crushing on the only friend he’s ever had, but it wasn’t his fault.

 

_ No. You don’t like Evan as any more than a friend. _ He told himself and shut down the whole thought.

 

The boys walked into Hot Topic first.

 

“I’ve gotten some T-shirts from here.” Connor commented as Evan looked through the sweater rack, “When I was super into Green Day. I mean, I totally still am, just not ‘impulsively buy three different T-shirts’ into Green Day.”

 

Evan laughed, “I think I’ve gotten, like, a beanie from here. A maroon colored one, it was nice.”

 

“Ah, that is a nice color.” Connor commented, looking at all the edgy teenagers around him.

 

“I feel so out of place in here…” Evan murmured, “Like I should be in Forever 21 instead…”

 

Connor looked at all the dark colors, realizing he didn’t really want be associated with this kind of stuff anymore. He bent down a little to reach Evan’s ear, “We should leave now.”

 

Once they were out Connor put an arm around Evan’s shoulder.

 

_ Just friends. _

 

“We’re alright.” He told him, “It’s just a store.”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know why I was so intimidated…”

 

He gave his shoulder a squeeze while he took Evan’s hand into his and admired his nails.

 

He smirked, “You’re so cute with your nails painted!”

 

_ MURPHY. JESUS. _

 

Evan looked up to him, doing an impression of a tomato.

 

_ I know I shouldn’t say things like that but seeing his face like that… it’s so worth it. _

 

“Uh--Uhm.” Evan stammered.

 

Connor quickly took his arm back, “Sorry.”

 

“No, it--it’s okay…” Evan rubbed his arm, nervously.

 

_ Look what you did, asshat. _

 

“Let’s -uh- keep walking.”

 

_ AWKWARD… _

 

The day continued, both boys quickly recovering from that awkward conversation.

 

They went from store to store, mainly just enjoying each other's presence. Although Connor was dealing with his inner struggles, he genuinely did enjoy talking with Evan still. He clung onto every word that came out of his mouth. He loved hearing his voice. Whenever Evan was around, he felt safe. Like nothing could harm him. 

 

It was getting dark outside, Evan suggested they head home.

 

“I’m glad we could hang out today.” Evan said, buckling his seatbelt.

 

He nodded, “Me too.”

 

Connor pulled to a red light and it was silent in the car. Evan was looking out the window until he suddenly turned to Connor with a bright smile on his face, “We should go to A La Mode!”

 

“No, I should get home before the sun sets…” Connor lied.

 

_ Now you’re lying to him? What is wrong with you!? _

 

“Oh… Okay.” Evan leaned his head against the window again.

 

He parked outside the Hansen house. “Text me when you get home.” Evan said.

 

“Okay,” He smiled, “Tell Heidi I said hi.”

 

He laughed, “Okay. We need to see each other again. Sooner this time!”

 

He nodded.

 

Connor didn’t know if it was the perfect smile he displayed before getting out of the car, the way he walked to the front door, or the way he waved him off for a safe drive, but in that moment he reached the verdict that yes, he indeed was falling, and hard, for Evan Hansen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sure do wish I could write a chapter and be satisfied with my work. I hope you guys liked this one!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor lets the stress eat away at him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. A whole lot of it.

“You’re just in time for dinner, sweetie.” Connor’s mom smiled as she set plates out on the table.

 

He took a seat after he put the car keys on the counter.

 

Zoe soon joined, she smirked when she saw Connor. Larry took a seat and smiled at Connor. The kind of smile that Connor could tell was just an awkward greeting.

 

“You okay, son?” Larry said, “You look a little pale…”

 

Connor took his stare away from the fruit bowl.

 

_ I’m just madly in love with my best friend, no biggie. _

 

“Yeah I’m… I’m fine.” He lied, rubbing his eyes, which had dark bags resting under them.

 

“Connor,” Zoe glared, “You look like someone actually punched you in the face…”

 

He turned pale, “Okay…” He suddenly felt nauseous. Everything around him was a little blurry. Was it getting hot in here? Why was he sweating? 

 

“Connor!” Cynthia shouted as her son fell out of his seat. 

 

Next thing Connor knew, he was lying in his bed and morning light shined through his window. It appeared that his two days without sleep or food had caught up to him. He kicked himself for letting the stress eat away at him like this, but was done was done.

 

He propped up his pillow so he could sit up. He took the covers off of him and checked his surroundings. There was a tray of food by his bed and a note.

 

He groaned, his head was pulsing. His stomach growled at him.

 

Before the eager boy grabbed the plate of waffles, bacon, and eggs, he read the note with difficulty.

 

_ Please eat. I love you, Con. -Zoe _

 

He grabbed the tray, his mouth watering, and immediately shoved the bacon in his mouth. He took a swig of water from the water bottle Zoe had also left. Before he knew it the delicious breakfast was gone. He drank the rest of the water and leaned back in his bed, massaging his temples.

 

Connor set the tray aside and stood up. 

 

He needed something to do. He needed to do something he hasn't done in a long time. The stress was too much. God, crushes feel like a full time job. He wasn’t going to let himself slip into a depressive state again, so he did the only other coping mechanism he knew.

 

He walked over to his closet and moved his coats to one side, revealing the bag of green.

 

_ I promised I’d quit… but I need to… _

 

He took it out and proceeded to roll it into a blunt. He carefully put the bag back and closed the closet door. He grabbed the lighter and opened the window, sitting on the frame, letting his legs dangle.

 

The blunt became lit and he brought it to his lips, inhaling, letting it absorb his thoughts. He puffed out and smiled.

 

_ Only a few hits… then I’ll put it away. _

 

***

 

Evan grabbed a cup of orange juice as his mom got ready for work.

 

“You okay, hon? You seem distracted.” Heidi commented.

 

“Yeah… it’s just that, last night Zoe texted me that Connor had--had passed out and I texted him to see if he was awake yet… but no answer.” He sighed.

 

“Well, if they need any help with anything,” She lightly chuckled, “I’m here to help!”

 

“Thanks… Mom.” He sipped.

 

She walked over and put her arm around his shoulder, “Oh don’t worry hon, I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

 

Evan wanted to believe her but he knew the words meant nothing.

 

“By the way,” She continued, “How are things going with him… ya know, like how was yesterday?”

 

“We had a good time, it was nice catching up.” He drank some more.

 

“That’s good, that’s good.” She nodded, “Did he… make a move or anything?”

 

Evan practically spit out the orange juice, “What?!”

 

“Oh my goodness, Evan.” She laughed, “Remember when we had breakfast all together? What was it two weeks ago?”

 

Evan nodded, impatiently waiting for her to go on.

 

“Did you see the way he looks at you?” She looked at him, shocked, “That boy has a serious crush on you!” She smiled.

 

Evan blushed furiously, “You think?”

 

“I know.” She replied, “You guys think you’re so good at being subtle, but my goodness. It could not have been more obvious if he had a sign that said, “I LOVE EVAN HANSEN”. Come on, you haven’t picked up on it… even a little…?”

 

“Well, now that you mention it…” He thought back to yesterday. Maybe she was right… 

 

“Well I will just let you think on that,” She giggled, “If you need anything… and I mean anything. Advice, food, hugs.” She put a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye, “I’m here.”

 

“Thanks, Mom… really.”

 

She took him into her arms and Evan squeezed tight. He loved her, loved her so much. The hug ended too quickly when she said, “I should head to work.”

 

She grabbed her purse and keys, “I love you Evan, have a great day!”

 

“I love you, too.” He smiled as she walked out.

 

He sipped his orange juice and took out his phone to see a text from Zoe.

 

Zoe: Hey Evan, I didn’t mean to scare you last night. I think he’s up now, I’m going to check on him right now.

Evan: Okay, keep me updated please!

 

About 10 minutes went by before he received two texts.

 

Zoe: Oh my god. He’s so annoying.

 

And the other was from Connor.

 

Connor: Hey, thanks for checking up on me, I’m fine now. Also DO NOT listen to anything Zoe tells you.

 

***

 

Connor was now on his fifth inhale, he’d been counting them. Each time he would tell himself to put it away.

 

He started to become angry that he couldn’t control himself, but damn he’d missed it so much.

 

He only  _ really  _ started regretting it when he heard his bedroom door open.

 

_ Shit! _

 

“Oh, Connor!” Zoe said in a happy tone, “Enjoying the fresh air?”

 

He nodded, not knowing what else to do.

 

“Did you like breakfast? I thought it was the least I could do-” The sudden stop in her sentence was scary. Connor knew what was coming next.

 

“CONNOR!” She whisper yelled, “Are you shitting me!?”

 

He turned to her, his vision a little off, “Zo, it’s nothing…”

 

“You were doing so well…” She put her head in her hands, “And you just woke up… I can’t believe this.”

 

“Zoe-” He turned around, blunt in hand and eyes lidded closed.

 

“I have been so worried about you and little did I know you’re just in here toking it up!”

 

He crawled back into his bedroom and put out the blunt. “I was just feelin’ a little stressed…”

 

“You know what? Whatever. It’s your life not mine.” She sighed and shook her head, “So glad you’re okay now. Hope you liked breakfast…” She was halfway out the door now, “You should check your phone.”

 

And with that she was gone. Out the door. Connor felt his heart sink. He let Zoe down… she’s walked in on him like that many times before, why was this one hitting him so hard.

 

“I’m sorry, Zo.” He said to nothing, “Know what? No more. No more of this.” He walked to his closet and ripped the taped bag off the wall.

 

He opened the window and chucked it as far as he could.

 

_ Well, the neighbors will get a pleasant surprise. _

 

He found his phone plugged in, Zoe must’ve also done that for him. God, she was too good to him.

 

Twelve new messages from Evan.

 

Evan: Hey Zoe said you passed out, I really just need to know if you’re okay

Evan: So whenever you wake up…

Evan: Are you awake now?

Evan: Hey Con

Evan: Still thinking about you

Evan: You okay bud?

Evan: Really worried…

Evan: Have you been eating?

Evan: Awake yet?

Evan: I’ll take that as a no

Evan: If you were in a hospital room I’d be that one person to stay by you all night

Evan: Hey Con, you okay? Just let me know… You’re still on my mind… 

 

Connor didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, this was so sweet. He immediately started typing him back.

 

Connor: Hey, thanks for checking up on me, I’m fine now. Also DO NOT listen to anything Zoe tells you.

 

He read the texts over again… and again… and maybe one more time.

 

‘You’re still on my mind’ what did that mean? What was he doing on his mind?

 

_ You passed out! He was just a concerned friend. _

 

Right, right, right… friend.

 

He looked at the time the texts were sent. He noticed that Evan had sent a text every ten minutes from 1 AM to 3 AM.

 

_ Wow. _

 

Evan was dedicated. He stayed up till morning just because he was worried about Connor. He put down the phone and smiled.

 

_ He cares about me…  _

 

His phone buzzed. Evan!

 

Evan: I’m so glad. Omg I’m so glad. Do you feel okay?

 

His vision was still a little off and he did feel… funny. But neither of those things were because of passing out.

 

Evan: What do you mean don’t listen to anything Zoe tells me?

 

_ Should I tell him? _

 

Connor: Ev I did something really stupid… 

Evan: You want to meet up and talk about it?

Connor: Driving wouldn’t be the smartest right now

Evan: Connor did you drink?

Evan: Like… 

Evan: Alcohol?

Connor: No. I only get into the wine cabinet when my parents aren’t home.

 

_ Shit… should I have told him that? _

 

Evan: Are you hurt??? Do I need to come get you?

Connor: No no, I’m fine

Evan: Connor seriously whats up???

Connor: You’ll hate me

Evan: Connor. There is nothing. Nothing. On this planet that would make me hate you.

Connor: I smoked some pot

 

Connor anxiously waited for a response. He wanted to take back what he’d done, he really did. Sure, it isn’t the worst drug but it’s still a drug. And it is illegal for his age for a reason.

 

Evan: I didn’t know you smoked… 

 

_ Shit there goes any chance I had with him. FIX IT NOW! _

 

Connor: I don’t!

Connor: Well it probably doesn’t seem like it.

Connor: I haven’t in so long.

Connor: I was just so stressed and I know how good it makes me feel

Connor: I threw it out the window

 

_ Yeah, that’s totally normal! _

 

Evan: You threw weed out the window?

Connor: …Yes

Evan: Okay well, I don’t know how that specific drug affects you so I’ll let you be I guess

 

_ No. Come back. I need you! _

 

Connor: Okay

 

_ I’m sorry _

 

Evan: Bye

 

Connor sets his phone aside

 

“You fucking moron.” He grumbles to himself.

 

He stands up and stretches. Bad idea. He sits back down, now dizzy. He laid back down, letting his eyes drift close. The pain in his head is still there and he knows once this high comes down it’ll be worse. God, he’s so stupid. How could he do this to himself.

 

The helpless brunet remembered back to when this experience was enjoyable and a preferred hobby. What an awful time it was.

 

“Sleeping still?” Zoe’s voice rang in his ears.

 

_ Holy fuck! _

 

“Jesus! Lower your voice!” He said, fluttering his eyes open, “And it’s still morning, I’m just getting some extra sleep.”

 

“Uhm no.” She stammered, “It’s five o'clock in the afternoon and I am talking at a very normal volume.”

 

“Five!?” He sat up quickly. Bad idea #2. “Ow ow ooww.” He groaned, holding his head in his hands.

 

Zoe scoffed, “Not that I want anymore drug usage but,” She handed Connor some painkillers, “Take these.”

 

Connor gladly did so. His head was worse than it’d ever been. Hopefully these would help, even a little. Hell he wouldn’t care if it was just placebo effect.

 

“You’ve been knocked out the whole day… at least I assume.” She said, “You always go into a coma after-”

 

“Whatever…” He sighed massaging his head.

 

“Why’d you do it?” She sat next to him on the bed, “So good, Con, you were doing so good-”

 

“I like Evan!” He shouted, letting all of the emotions go. All the built up sexual frustration, confusion, anger… he didn’t know what else to do.

 

The words seemed to circle the room. Zoe stared at him as his breathing became deep as if he’d run a mile. 

 

“I… like… Evan.” He said between breaths.

 

She worked up the words she wanted to say, “How is that stressful?”

 

“Because it’ll never happen!” He raised his voice again, “I’m going to ruin the one friendship I’ve ever had because I can’t handle myself!”

 

“Connor, lower your voice, calm down.” She rubbed his back in soothing patterns, “Just talk to me-”

 

“I don’t want to talk.”

 

_ Yes you do. You just don’t want to admit it. _

 

“What if Evan likes you back… you just don’t know it.”

 

“Evan’s not gay-!”

 

“No…” She agreed, “But maybe he’s bisexual.”

 

Connor didn’t have anything to argue with, it was entirely possible. “Why are we even talking about this? I’m never going to date Evan. He’ll find a girl and forget all about me.”

 

“Con-”

 

“Great talk, Zoe.” He stood up, ran out the door, rushed down the stairs, and slammed the door on his way out.

 

He didn’t know where he was going, but wherever it was, no one except Connor Murphy was invited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER! OOH! Only a little sorry... Muahahaha


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe and Evan talk a little.

Evan sat around in his pajamas all day.

 

Yes, of course he was upset with Connor. He’s not who Evan thought he was…. And yes, there were much better things he could’ve said to Connor instead of blowing him off but he didn’t know what to do.

 

The only thing he knew is that weed isn’t legal until you’re twenty-one years of age. He panicked, he didn’t know what to say.

 

His phone buzzed. He assumed it was Connor but was pleased to see Zoe’s name pop up.

 

Zoe: Hey, Ev… do you think you could come over?

Evan: Is everything alright?

Zoe: Kinda, I just want to see you :(

Evan: I could be there in probably 30

Zoe: Okay that’d be great

Zoe: Thanks Ev

 

Evan hurriedly put on clothes suited for public. Zoe’s never asked him to come over, he hoped everything was alright. Did something happen to Connor? Oh god… what if Connor hurt himself because of what Evan said… 

 

He arrived at the Murphy’s in record time, he made note that the car Connor drives was missing from the road.

 

_ Uh oh. _

 

He knocked on the door and moments later was greeted by Cynthia, Connor’s mom.

 

“Evan!” She smiled, “How nice to see you!”

 

“Hi… Cynthia.” He hesitated to say her first name but remembered he had her permission to use it.

 

“Connor’s not home at the moment…” She frowned, “But you’re always welcome, please come in.”

 

Evan walked into the lovely home.

 

“I -uh- I’m actually here for Z--Zoe…” He struggled with the words, “Do you kn--know where she might -uh- might be.”

 

His nerves were getting the best of him, he was worried where Connor was and he only wanted to impress his parents at all times.

 

“She’s probably up in her room,” She nodded, “Just go give her a knock.”

 

Evan thanked Cynthia and walked up the stairs.

 

He tapped on the door, “Zoe?”

 

The door swung open and Zoe fell into Evan’s arms. He was stunned, it took him a few seconds to realize what was happening. Once engaged in the situation he held her tight and rubbed her back.

 

“Zoe, what happened?” He asked. She wasn’t sobbing but he was painfully aware of the tears soaking through his shirt.

 

He just wanted to cheer her up, but how?

 

“I just want to be a good sister!” She cried.

 

“H--Here let’s go into the bedroom.” Evan put an arm around her shoulder and guided her to the bed, gently closing the door in the process, “What do you mean… you’re a great sister to Connor.”

 

It was then that he saw Zoe’s newly colored hair. Connor had told him about it, but he didn’t know she looked absolutely adorable with multicolored hair.

 

She shook her head and wiped her nose, “He doesn’t think so…”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“About an hour ago I went to talk to Connor… this morning I caught him smoking pot-”

 

“Right, he told me. He seemed like he regretted it-”

 

“But he still did it… and he can’t take it back…”

 

“Right.” He sighed.

 

“I know that he sleeps for hours afterwards so I went up to wake him up before Mom got suspicious, and I even brought him painkillers!”

 

“That’s so nice of you,” Evan agreed.

 

“Yeah! I could’ve just let him get busted and Mom probably would’ve sent him to, like, rehab… which I know he doesn’t need. He was doing so good, he hasn’t in weeks…”

 

_ Connor was telling the truth then…  _

 

“... He just… he’s just so stupid sometimes. Like when we were talking about-!” She suddenly stopped, shaking her head.

 

Evan narrowed his eyes, concerned, “Wh--what?”

 

She looked away, picking at loose thread on the cuffs of her overalls, which were covered in stars of various colors.

 

“That’s a conversation for you two… not us two.” She gestured to the both of them.

 

_ No tell me! What were you two talking about! _

 

“I just wish he could see how hard I’m trying…” She mumbled.

 

“How do you know he doesn’t?”

 

“Because-” She thought for a moment, “Because he never acknowledges it.”

 

“But what if he’s just internalizing it because he’s… he’s just scared of being vulnerable? We both know that emotions aren’t easy for him.”

 

“You’re right…” She said. “Evan. You need to get in touch with him… tonight.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he needs to say some shit.” She told him, lightly laughing, “And I need you to bring him back home before he gets-”

 

“Another piercing…” Evan murmured.

 

“He’s told you about… the piercings?” A smile curled her lip upward, “He must really trust you. He likes you a lot, Ev.”

 

Evan blushed, “Like… as a friend.”

 

“If that’s what you want.”

 

_ What? What’s that supposed to mean? _

 

“Text him. See if you can find out where he is.”

 

Evan did as she suggested. Zoe sent a text as well.

 

They waited for a response, chatting.

 

“So have you ever braided his hair?” Zoe asked.

 

“No?” He responded, “Why would I? And I don’t even know how.”

 

She snickered, “Don’t tell him I told you… but he loves it.”

 

“He does?”

 

She nodded, “Here, I’ll show you.” She took a strand of her hair and split it into threes. She began weaving it together, “Now you try.”

 

Evan smiled and took a thick strand, Zoe laughed as he struggled with it.

 

“It’s a little… uneven.” She said, “Try again.” She undid the braid and let him have another go.

 

He made a second attempt, after Zoe showed him again. He mixed the brown in with the indigo streaks, being more careful this time. He admired it, it didn’t look the worst.

 

“Whoah, that’s actually pretty good!” She encouraged, “Have you ever seen his hair with braids in?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“He looks adorable,” She chuckled.

 

Evan blushed, thinking about Connor with a waterfall braid, “Yeah I bet…”

 

After about 20 minutes and 5 texts each, it was obvious he wasn’t planning on responding.

 

“You need to find him.” Zoe said, growing impatient.

 

“Wait, wh--why can’t we find him? Like… together.” He asked.

 

“Because when you find him… you won’t want me there, trust me.”

 

_ What? _

 

All of Zoe’s vague remarks were not only confusing him more and more, but also adding some more anxiety to the boiling pot inside him already.

 

“Where do I even look?” He asked, doubting himself.

 

“Well, think of his favorite places…”

 

“A La Mode.” He said.

 

“The orchard.”

 

“What’s the orchard?” He asked, “Like, that apple orchard by the public garden?”

 

“Actually, the public garden is part of the orchard now.” Zoe corrected, “And… I’m surprised that Connor hasn’t told you about it. We have a lot of good memories there.” She smiled to herself.

 

“You and Connor were close as kids?” Evan asked, genuinely interested.

 

“We were… best friends.” She nodded. “Some of our best moments I remember from the orchard. It was our favorite place. We forced our parents to take us every weekend...”

 

Evan could see tears forming again.

 

“I know that our relationship could never be the way it was when were in elementary… but I just want him to stop stressing over this silly situation.”

 

“What situation?”

 

Zoe swerved away from the question, as if she didn’t hear it, “And you should stop by the tattoo parlor. It’s where he get’s his piercing, but I wouldn’t put it past him to actually get a tattoo.”

 

“I--I don’t know if I can do this…” Evan said, “I’m sure he’ll come home.”

 

“Evan, please.” Zoe looked into his eyes and squeezed his hand, “If not for yourself, do it for me, but more importantly, Connor.”

 

Evan let himself breathe for a moment and think it over.

 

He nodded.

 

Zoe smiled and kissed his cheek, “Thanks, Ev. You’re… literally the best. You won’t regret this.”

 

Evan started to stand up.

 

“Oh wait!” Zoe said, grabbing a silver sharpie from her desk. She took Evan’s palm into hers and scribbled a star on the back of his hand, “If you start wanting to give up, just look at the star.”

 

And with that he was off, with one thing on his mind. The mission. And his mission right now was to find Connor Murphy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that resolution to that cliffhanger... oh wait... muahahaha!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for Connor is on! Can Evan do it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright. No more cliffhangers, I love ya'll.

He biked to A La Mode, it wasn’t too far from the Murphy house and Evan was thankful for that. 

 

Evan: I don’t see his car around… I’ll head to the tattoo parlor

 

He started leaving but stopped to check the text he received from Zoe.

 

Zoe: No, go inside and ask if he’s come in today!

Evan: I’m nervous

Zoe: It’s okay Evan. Star.

 

He smiled and glanced down at the star. It’s just some social interaction. He can do this. He left the bike outside and shoved his sweaty hands in his pockets.

 

Evan felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders when he walked in and saw a familiar face working behind the counter.

 

“Evan!” Jared greeted.

 

“J--Jared?”

 

“How you been, man? You hook up with Zoe yet?” He snarked.

 

“-Uh- N...no.” He turned scarlet, “You work here?”

 

“Got a summer job. Which you would know if you bothered to call or text at all…” He rubbed his shoulder.

 

“S--sorry.” He shrugged.

 

“You want to hang out after my shift?” He asked.

 

Evan shook his head, trying to get words out, “C--can’t.”

 

“What are you  _ so _ busy doing?”

 

“Have--Have you seen Connor?” Evan asked, fumbling with his shirt.

 

“Why?” He asked, “Oh don’t even tell me that Connor Murphy is your summer fling!”

 

Evan must’ve been red because he felt his face heat up in embarrassment, “It’s--It’s not a fling!”

 

“But it might be a ‘thing’?” He pushed, no longer joking.

 

“Just… have you seen him?” Evan ignored the question, not knowing the answer himself.

 

Jared stammered a little before answering, “Yeah, he came in here a little while ago. Got some pecan ice cream and left.”

 

“Did you talk to him at all?”

 

“Yeah, I told him his hair looked… nice.”

 

Evan knew Jared, he wouldn’t just compliment someone out of nowhere. He stared, waiting for Jared to continue.

 

Jared laughed, making him the only one doing so, “Okay okay, I told him his hair looked like a school shooter’s and he got all pissed even though I was obviously joking!”

 

Evan groaned internally.

 

_ Great if he wasn’t already spiraling, that surely sent him over the edge. _

 

“Okay… thanks Jared.” Evan said.

 

“Uh… no problem.” He squinted, “Oh and we should hang out when I’m not working.”

 

“Y-yeah… text me when you’re free…” Evan nodded.

 

He walked out. He hadn’t seen Jared since the last day of school when they had a sleepover after school. He always thought Jared was only friends with him because of his parents, but he seemed genuinely interested in hanging out.

 

He couldn’t focus on Jared and friendships right now. He needed to find Connor.

 

He started for the parlor.

 

Evan was focused and ready for anything. Nothing was going to get in his way. Sure, he was doing this for Zoe, and for the sake of Connor… but there was something else leading. There was a tugging on his heart, a voice saying that Connor could be hurt, and a drive telling Evan to protect him at all costs.

 

He’s never felt this way about anyone before. Cared so strongly… Is it just a strong bond between the two friends… or is it something more.

 

Before he knew it he was outside Heather’s Inks and Piercings. The only parlor within a 10 mile radius. Zoe said this is where he goes and he prayed to find him before he walked out with a lip piercing.

 

He was nervous for confrontation but it was worth it for Connor. Evan walked through the doors with a new found courage.

 

In the quaint waiting room sat a girl in retro attire and an obviously new nose piercing, a young man with a face tattoo, and a girl that looked about Evan’s age. He stepped up to the counter where a man with a full beard, ponytail, multiple piercings and a neck tattoo stood.

 

“Hi how can I help you?” The worker asked.

 

Evan swallowed the crippling fear he felt and spoke up, “Is Connor Murphy here?”

 

He chuckled to himself, “You know Connor?”

 

Evan nodded, “Yes, and--and I’m looking for him.”

 

“He was actually here… you just missed him. He walked in and signed all the forms for an eyebrow piercing and he was sitting in the chair and  _ right  _ at the last second he backed out.”

 

“What?”

 

“Right? It’s not like him.” The man commented, “Listen, man, I hate to kick you out but if you’re not here for anything I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

 

Evan nodded, understanding that that was his que to exit. He ignored the feeling of hopelessness in his chest and texted Zoe.

 

Evan: Apparently I just missed him at Heather’s… if he’s not at The Orchard I’m going to get scared

Zoe: Oh boy… be sure to look in trees

 

Evan thought that was odd advice but Zoe would know better than anyone else.

 

Courage waning, he hopped on his bike and headed for The Orchard. He biked as fast as he could, there were barely any cars on the road, the sun was starting to set. The Orchard was farther than Evan anticipated. He wanted so badly to believe this was where Connor was hiding. He was tired, his legs were worn out, he felt unsure of himself. Where was Connor?

 

Thoughts swarmed his head, he started to have trouble breathing. Oh god oh god, what if he doesn’t find Connor? He’ll have to tell Zoe that he failed her. He’ll have to face the fact that he can’t do anything right. He needs to find Connor.

 

He needs Connor.

 

Evan secretly knew, far back in his mind, exactly what his feelings meant. But he couldn’t think about it right now. He kept pushing the emotions away, or else they’d get in the way. He’d ruin something great. He’d ruin the best friendship he’s ever had. He’d ruin the one thing that makes him happy… 

 

His feelings for the brunet wouldn’t stay down for much longer, this he knew, but that was a problem for future Evan.

 

He arrived at The Orchard and looked around. The patio lights were starting to illuminate all the walkways as the sun went down on the horizon. He spotted the public garden in the distance, then the fields. The beautiful yellow fields.

 

Evan spent roughly an hour walking around. The sun was long gone. He’d walked through apple tree after apple tree in search of the missing Murphy. He started biting his lip out of worry. The fields were the only place he didn’t search thoroughly, but how could you? The space is far too wide, and there are so many trees… 

 

His feet dragged behind him. He kicked a pile of dirt out of frustration. The cool breeze rustled some leaves in the beautifully diverse trees.

 

He decided to sit down. He sighed, pressing his back against a tree.

 

This is it. Connor was nowhere to be found. He brought his knees to his chest as hopelessness swirled around his heart.

 

Evan looked around to see if anyone was near. When he didn’t spot anyone, he decided to do something that, most of the time, calms himself down. Talk to himself.

 

“G--great job Evan.” He started, “You went flying a--all over town in search for your friend who you know deep down you have a huge crush on, but would never admit that to anyone because you’re scared! Scared of confron-...confrontation! ”

 

He let a small tear fall.

 

“All you had to do was keep a normal friendship! It really isn’t that hard, Evan. All you have to do is just-” He sniffed, “Not be so horrible at everything! No one else seems to have a problem with doing that, why is it such a struggle for you! Now, Connor could have hurt himself because you--you’re such a horrible friend!” He was talking so fast, some words got slurred together. He wiped his nose. “You failed yourself, you failed Zoe, you failed… Connor.”

 

He put his head down in his knees and let more tears fall. This was not calming him at all. If anything it was making it worse.

 

Suddenly, a small voice came from the tree, “Evan?”

 

_ Shit. _

 

He quickly lifted his head and looked into the tree, there he spotted a boy with long brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.

 

“Evan… are you okay?”

 

“Connor!” He stood up, “It’s--It’s--It’s you!”

 

“Ev, take a breath.” He told Evan calmly.

 

Evan did and realized how shallow his breaths were.

 

_ Oh my god… he heard everything. Shit. It’s ruined. _

 

“Care to join me?” Connor asked gesturing towards the sturdy branch he was sitting on.

 

Evan’s palms started sweating. He was scared. When he found the spot next to Connor he felt two lanky arms wrap around him. He realized his breathing was still off, and tears were still falling.

 

“I’m okay, Ev. I’m right here…” He calmly stroked his hair.

 

Evan tried to catch the right the words, “You’re okay… I’m so glad you’re okay!” He whispered into his chest. He inhaled Connor’s odd smell.

_ Is that what weed smells like? _

 

He let Connor hold him for a little while, it was comforting. The tall boy brought Evan’s head up and wiped away the last tear with a flick of his thumb.

 

“I thought -- I thought that I made you mad-”

 

“Why would you have made me mad?”

 

“When I left you on your own this morning. I--I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to do!”

 

He pulled Evan closer while still looking into his eyes, “I wasn’t mad at you, Evan. You did what anyone would’ve done. I was stupid to have picked up the habit.”

 

“You’re not mad at me?”

 

“No, of course not.” His lip softly curled upward.

 

Surely he was dreaming, this was… too good to be true. A pink tint spread across his cheeks as Connor gave his hand a light squeeze.

 

“Where were you?” Evan lightly pushed him away.

 

He hissed through his teeth, “Doesn’t everyone want to know.”

 

“We were worried, Connor.”

 

“I went to A La Mode…” He began, “And I was planning on eating my cone there, but that asshat, Jared, was there and -- and he made a comment about my hair so I ate outside. He needs to learn to shut the fuck up.”

 

Evan rubbed Connor’s shoulder, “Hey, it’s okay. Jared  _ is _ an asshat.”

 

That won him a side smile. He continued, “Then after that I was really starting to get angry so I went to Heather’s Inks And Piercings. I always thought eyebrow piercings were hot.” He shrugged.

 

“So why didn’t you get it?”

 

He huffed, “When I was sitting there… and the needle was inches away from me… and I just… pain wasn’t the best way to cope with my anger. And then Zoe would’ve seen it and been all disappointed…”

 

“You care about her.”

 

“Of course!” He defended.

 

“You -- you should tell her.”

 

“I would if could. God, if I could tell her how she’s everything to me…”

 

“Why don’t you, Con?”

 

“It’s too weird.” He said.

 

“She loves you. She just wants to be a good sister.”

 

“And she’s an amazing sister!” He expressed.

 

“Well, Con, she doesn’t feel like it.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Everytime she tries to support you you just get angry and storm out of the house.” Evan said. He didn’t know what he was doing. Was he trying to fix the relationship between the Murphy siblings? Was it possible?

 

“How do you know?” He huffed.

 

“She told me…”

 

Connor was quiet for a moment, “Okay… I guess I can put in a little more effort.” He sighed.

 

They sat in silence. Evan rested his head on Connor’s shoulder.

 

“Evan there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you ever since our sleepover.” Connor suddenly spoke up, breaking the tension.

 

They looked into each other’s eyes.

 

Connor was so beautiful. His jawline, his cheekbones, his nose. Evan wanted to caress him, run his hands along Connor’s shoulders, mess with his hair.

 

“I think I like you…” Connor quickly looked away then said, “And more recently… I’ve wanted to tell you…” He grabbed both his hands, “I have fallen for you, Evan Hansen.”

 

Evan couldn’t process what was happening. Connor had a crush on him? Since the sleepover? He tried his hardest to get words out, any words. But he couldn’t, they all got caught in his throat.

 

“Fall--fallen for me?” He stuttered.

 

“Yeah…” He grabbed a fistful of hair and began messing with it. He let out a sigh, “And it feels so good to say that… but I get it if you don’t want to be my friend-”

 

“Con--Connor…” Evan started, blushing more furiously than ever, “I like you.”

 

“Wow…” He stifled a laugh, smiling.

 

There was a moment of silence, then small chuckles from both of them.

 

“So…” Connor mumbled.

 

“So…” Evan joined.

 

Connor turned his body to Evan, putting his leg on the other side of the branch. His soft hand cupped the side of Evan’s cheek, his thumb stroking him ever so slightly. Evan leaned into it, closing his eyes.

 

“May I kiss you?”

 

Evan opened his eyes and gently nodded. They both leaned in and when their lips finally met neither wanted to part. Evan slowly pulled away and looked at Connor. He was red, but Evan probably was too.

 

“May I… kiss you again?” Connor asked, a little more needy this time. Evan leaned in and began running his hands through Connor’s soft hair. It was obvious Connor loved it. Evan felt the brunet’s hands rubbing up and down his back. They sat on the branch, wrapped in each other’s embrace, no one around but them, kissing as if they would never get to do it again.

 

Evan felt at peace that night, protected by Connor’s arms. He didn’t know when he would go home, or if he would go home at all. But right now anything other than Connor’s lips on his simply didn’t matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked how this played out! However... the story isn't over yet!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated at a sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to "Touch Me" from Spring Awakening on repeat while writing this.

Connor laid on his side, drifting to sleep. Two arms were squeezing him tight. Two loving arms. He pushed himself against Evan, wanting to get closer, if possible.

 

The boys were having a sleepover at Connor’s house while the rest of the Murphy family was doing their annual skiing trip. Connor declined the offer to go with because he hated skiing. The cold snow that melts and gets you wet, constantly falling because no one properly taught you how to actually ski, it just didn’t sound like his dream vacation.

 

If he were being honest, lying in his bed curled up in the covers with Evan was his dream vacation. A vacation away from reality.

 

Evan’s hand traveled up Connor’s shirt, allowing skin to skin contact. Connor hummed lightly, smiling.

 

Part of Connor wanted to be big spooning Evan so that he could kiss the back of his neck and pull him close-

 

Suddenly two lips made contact with the back of Connor’s head, three times. He blushed, shoving his face in the pillow. Evan’s fingers started traveling through the brunet’s locks.

 

They were so close, physically and emotionally, that’s why Connor was confused when Evan suddenly backed away from him.

 

“Wait… babe come back…” Connor mumbled tiredly. He reached behind him to try and pull him closer.

 

“N-no… I’m comfortable…”

 

Connor lazily turned onto his other side, “You okay?”

 

“I’m g-going to -- to go to the bathroom-”

 

Evan was obviously not okay. His palms were sweaty, he was tripping over his words, and his breaths were ragged.

 

Connor took hold of his hand and traced circles with his thumb, “Ev, hey,” He started stroking his arm, “You can talk to me, it’s okay.”

 

“I -uh- I -uhm-” He stammered, “I--I don’t know… We were.. We were cuddling and I guess something happened and…” He sighed. It didn’t seem like he was planning on continuing. He sat up, squirming around. He covered his face with his hands as Connor turned on the bedside lamp.

 

“Hey… Ev, don’t hide from me.” He gently helped Evan take his hands away from his face, revealing the blond’s furious blushing. He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. “You’re so cute.”

 

Connor had caught onto what was happening. Evan had gotten a little too enthusiastic about cuddling.

 

He sat up against the wall, next to Evan.

 

“Evan…” He placed a hand on his thigh, causing Evan to squirm under him, “It’s okay. It’s not like I’ve somehow taken offense to it.”

 

“Agh, I’m sorry I made it awkward…”

 

“No… don’t be.” Connor smirked. He brought his hand to the blond hair and began playing with it, “I could always…  _ help _ …” 

 

Evan turned away, “You’re making me blush…”

 

Connor stifled a laugh, “I know. It’s hot.”

 

Evan giggled as Connor planted kisses along his neck, “I--I’ve never-”

 

“Neither have I.” Connor brought his leg over, now straddling his turned-on boyfriend. He put his hands on his shoulder as he leaned in for a kiss. He felt Evan’s welcoming hands exploring his chest. The kiss deepened as Connor held Evan’s head in his hands. Every few seconds, Connor made sure to move his hips a little to hear the blonds noises.

 

Connor couldn’t help the crying moan that escaped his lips when Evan started playing with his nipple. He threw his head back in pleasure. Evan immediately stopped.

 

Sure he’d touched himself before, but the surprise of it, the fact that it was Evan doing it… it was hot.

 

He looked at the now embarrassed boy, “Feeling adventurous are we?”

 

“I’m s--sorry…”

 

“I’m just messing with you,” He kissed him quickly, “Keep doing it. Please.”

 

The brunet grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off, leaving Evan in a trance.

 

“Like what you see?” Connor smirked, moving his hips forward.

 

“Yes!” Evan slowly leaned in and kissed between his pecs. He rubbed Connor’s sensitive spots as his kisses trailed to his collarbone, he left little bruises until he reached the base of his neck. Connor pulled him close, whimpering with every suck Evan gave.

 

“Mmm...Evan...yes…” He sighed. He dragged up Evan’s gaze to meet his, “Did you leave marks?”

 

Evan nodded, his eyes full of lust.

 

“Good.”

 

Connor pressed their mouths together again. He forced Evan’s hand to touch his butt. He felt Evan tighten the grasp on it. He gasped.

 

“C--Connor,” He said, “ I want… I want you.” Evan added his other hand to Connor’s behind. 

 

“How?” Connor smirked down at him, in love with Evan’s occasional squeeze, “Cause I was kinda thinking…” His hand traveled downward and stroked Evan through his boxers. He leaned into his ear and gave it a little nibble, “Maybe my tongue could do some exploring…”

 

Evan was having trouble getting words out, so he just nodded.

 

Before continuing, Connor leaned back and placed a hand on Evan’s chest, “And babe, if at any point you want to stop… just tell me, okay?”

 

“Okay.” He said weakly.

 

Connor positioned himself between Evan’s legs and tugged on the bottom of his shirt and yanked it off of him.

 

Connor looked over his chest.

 

_ God damn. _

 

Evan was hot, and there was no denying it. Connor stared, mesmerized, unsure of how he got so lucky as to find someone as funny, good, and attractive.

 

Evan started to cover his arms over his stomach, subtly.

 

“Evan… you’re beautiful.”

 

His eyes widened, “What?”

 

Connor placed his hands on his body, wherever his hands pleased, “You’re beautiful. There’s no need to hide.”

 

“O-okay…” He moved his arms back to his side, revealing the dark hairs of his happy trail, and Connor couldn’t wait to get to the end of it. He traced the soft hairs with his finger until he got to the only thing keeping from his desires, Evan’s boxers.

 

He curled his finger under and began tugging down. With the help of Evan he was able to pull them completely off.

 

There he was. Evan was below him, completely nude, so vulnerable… so beautiful. Connor ran his hands up his thighs, causing him to shudder.

 

Connor got on all fours in front of him and kissed the tip.

 

He looked up and made eye contact. Evan blushed. He licked the tip, testing the waters. Connor was pleased to hear a slight gasp.

 

His face inches away from it, he began stroking, up and down.

 

“You’re so… lovely to look at…” Connor praised, looking up to meet his eyes. Evan’s face a shade of red as he failed to cover a smile.

 

Connor brought his lips to the tip and gave it a chaste kiss before taking it into his mouth. He left only the tip in his mouth for a few moments, taking in the full taste. A little salty, and a lot like nothing he’d tasted before. He swirled his tongue a little.

 

“Oh…” Evan sighed, covering his mouth immediately.

 

Connor took his mouth off for a second, “Babe, I want to hear you. I want to hear every moan and cry that I force out of you.”

 

_ Did he just get harder? _

 

“...okay.” Evan struggled to say.

 

Connor ran his tongue up the shaft and fit his mouth over the head. He took him in deeper, making sure his tongue was making contact with his skin. Any slightest movement of the tongue seemed to make Evan shift and stifle a moan.

 

He almost made it to the base till he had to come back up and do circles around the head, to avoid an embarrassing choke. He tongued the slit, causing Evan to whimper.

 

While trusting his tongue to keep pleasing his boyfriend, he ran his hand up Evan’s thigh all the way to his pec. He felt around, grabbing wherever he could, rubbing his thumb over his nipple.

 

The boys found their rhythm, Evan moving with Connor’s head bobs.

 

When coming up, Connor had intentionally scraped his teeth on the underside of the shaft.

 

Evan gasped louder than before. He reached down and grabbed a fistful of Connor’s messy hair, causing the brunet to completely come off.

 

He licked his lips, then smirked, “Hair pulling… kinky.”

 

“I--I didn’t--Oh god that feels amazing…” Evan told Connor, breathlessly.

 

Connor crawled up to meet Evan’s lips for a quick kiss before going back down. Before he continued, Evan placed a hand on his cheek and asked, “You… want to hear… all of my noises?”

 

Connor bit his lip and nodded. He continued licking, biting, sucking, pinching, doing whatever won the loudest moans. Evan’s hands were practically glued to Connor’s head, and every time the blond would accidentally pull on the long locks… he could feel himself getting hard.

 

“Connor!” Evan sighed, petting his boyfriend’s hair. “Yes…”

 

His moans got increasingly loud. He wasn’t holding anything back and Connor couldn’t have found his confidence any more attractive than he already did.

 

“Yes...yes...YES!” He arched his back off the bed and tugged on Connor’s hair. “More!”

 

Connor did as he asked. He started pumping his hand as well as sucking. His pace quickened, he could tell Evan was getting close.

 

“Ohmygod…” He groaned, “C-Connor!”

 

He gave one last loud moan as he climaxed into Connor’s mouth. He quickly swallowed… it actually didn’t taste that bad. He took in Evan’s length one last time before releasing him with a  _ pop _ .

 

Evan was breathing heavily, he had his arm slung over his eyes. Connor kissed his happy trail, his stomach, his pecs, his neck, then finally his lips. He hovered over him, waiting for Evan to look up at him.

 

Evan moved his arm out of the way and stared up at him, blushing harder than before, “I--I don’t know what to say…” He looked away, “That was amazing…”

 

“You don’t need to say anything, babe.” He planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

 

“Touch me…” Evan said.

 

Connor shot him a confused look. He stroked his chest, “Like this?”

 

Evan nodded, “Just… don’t take your hands off me…”

 

Connor nuzzled Evan’s neck, leaving sloppy kisses, “God you’re so cute.”

 

They cuddled for a while. Connor occasionally kissing his neck and running his hands through his soft blond hair or touching his chest. Wherever his hands wanted to roam, he let them.

 

“Con…” Evan faced him, “ I want to see you. All of you.”

 

It was Connor’s turn to blush like an idiot in love. He sat up and pressed his back against the wall.

 

“You’re blushing!” Evan giggled, sitting next to him.

 

“Shut up…” He mumbled, looking away. Connor adjusted his position, kneeling between Evan’s legs, a familiar spot. Evan stopped laughing as his eyes went wide

 

“And what would you do if you saw… all of me?” He lowered his voice. He expected Evan to blush and break into a heated make out session but was surprised when he found himself pinned to the bed under Evan.

 

“Oh.” He gulped.

 

“I think I’d -- I’d do something like this.” Evan attempted at dirty talk as he lowered his hand down Connor’s boxers. He started feeling around, Connor squirming.

 

“And -- and then what would you do?” Connor said, words caught in his throat. He wasn’t going to lie, this was unexpected but most certainly welcome.

 

“I’d…” He placed both hands on the boxers and tugged them off, Connor’s erection springing free. Connor bit his lip as Evan stared. “Wow…” He smiled.

 

His hand began slowly pumping up and down. Evan ran his tongue up Connor’s body until it reached his nipple. He thrusted his tongue down and gave it a nice long lick.

 

Connor squirmed under him, receiving pleasure from two different places, “Oh yes…”

 

Evan continued, doing it to the other nipple and getting the same reaction. Evan pecked Connor’s neck a few times then began leaving another field of light hickeys that weren’t likely to go away for at least a week.

 

“Babe… babe that feels so good -- ah…” He encouraged as Evan’s fingers played with him. “Faster!” He moaned.

 

Evan obliged, pumping at a quicker pace and latching his tongue back on his nipple.

 

Evan flicked his tongue in a certain way that sent shudders throughout Connor’s body. He gasped as he brought his hand down to Evan’s butt and squeezed.

 

“Oh!” Evan gasped, but continued working wonders on his boyfriend’s body.

 

The boys found their rhythm for the second time that night. Connor’s noises filled the room as he was inching towards climax.

 

It was finally, when Evan had given a little nibble to Connor’s sensitive spot that he finished with a loud cry of Evan’s name.

 

Evan stroked a few more times after he heard Connor’s pants, his chest rising and falling.

 

“We should… clean up…” Evan suggested.

 

“Just… a few more minutes…” Connor said.

 

After a moment, Connor stood up and pulled his boxers back on. He took Evan’s hand and lead him into the bathroom. He pulled out a washcloth and dampened it. As he was wiping off the sticky substance he smirked, “I would say ‘I’m sorry’… but I’m not.”

 

He turned around, wiping himself off, and saw himself in the mirror, “...Holy shit…”

 

“What?” Evan said, then saw what Connor was staring at, “OhmygodI’msosorry!”

 

All along his neck and collarbone were hickeys, varying in color and size. Most of them were light but there was one that stuck out, right in the middle of his neck that was deep red.

 

He laughed, “Don’t be… I love them.”

 

“Oh my god you look like someone beat you up! It’s just that… you were making all these noises…”

 

Connor kissed him quick, “It’s okay.”

 

That seemed to calm him down.

 

After grabbing a glass of water they went back to the bed and cuddled.

 

“Maybe we could actually sleep now.” Evan smiled into the brunet’s chest.

 

Connor kissed his nose, “I think we deserve it.”

 

They slowly drifted to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms. Neither one wanting to be anywhere else but huddled in the comforting embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this necessary to the plot? No. Do I regret this? No.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the boys told their parental units that they're heeeellla gay.

Evan made waffles for himself and his mom. She was still sleeping, but Evan figured she would be up soon.

 

Heidi had decided to take the day off. Evan didn’t know if it was to spend time with him, because she had something to do, or just because she felt lazy. Whatever the reason, he felt that this was a perfect opportunity to tell her about him and Connor. 

 

He transferred the waffles to the plate, took out the previously cut up fruit, and started decorating the plate.

 

“Evan?” Heidi said with a groggy voice. She was in pajama pants and a bathrobe, her hair back in a messy ponytail, “What are you doing up this early? It’s summer, don’t you want to sleep in?”

 

“I just thought you’d like if we ate breakfast together…” He turned around, revealing the plate.

 

“You made me breakfast?” She placed a hand over her heart, “Thank you honey!” She fast-walked over and squeezed her son tight.

 

He placed both plates on the table and began filling two cups with orange juice.

 

“Evan, thank you for making breakfast!” She smiled from across the table.

 

“It’s not a problem… I just thought I could -- could do something nice for you. ‘Cause you do a lot for me…”

 

They ate their breakfast together, Heidi occasionally spilling her thanks again and again. It was when Heidi was halfway through her second waffle that Evan finally spoke up.

 

“M-mom…?”

 

Why was he so nervous? His mom was easy to talk to. She’s so understanding… so why were the words caught in his throat.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Uhm…” He picked at his knee, scratching, “I have something to tell you…”

 

There was no going back now.

 

“Okay…” She put down her fork and gave Evan her full attention.

 

“I am -- I’ve started -- I sometimes --” God why was this so hard!

 

_ Just tell her already! _

 

“Connor and I are dating!” He blurted.

 

Heidi couldn’t help her wide eyes. Her position didn’t change, she was sitting, arms folded, staring at her son with a shocked expression.

 

“I didn’t think you’d be so shocked…” Evan mumbled.

 

“Sorry…” She shook her head, “I just… wow.”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s great, honey, I’m glad you found someone.” She smiled, “As long as he makes you happy.”

 

“He does…” Evan blushed.

 

A moment of silence, before Heidi got excited.

 

“So…” She grinned, “Are you planning any… dates?”

 

“I -- I mean we’ve been on a few…” He smiled to himself, thinking about their late trips to A La Mode and early morning walks around The Orchard.

 

“Isn’t that just adorable!” She chuckled.

 

Evan was relieved to see his mom so supportive. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. He started wondering if Connor had told his family about it yet. He’s had to have told Zoe at least.

 

The conversation quickly died down after that. They finished their breakfast and Evan helped wash dishes.

 

“So school’s starting back up soon. Ready for senior year?” She asked, scrubbing furiously at a brownie pan that had been ignored for a little too long.

 

“I… yeah.” His answer at the beginning of this summer would’ve been a hard “No!” but now… with Connor by his side and Zoe as his friend… and even Jared being more friendly, it might not be so hard. Sure the stress of college and everything, but he needs to get through senior year first. Hell, what if he just takes the first year off?

 

“Mom… how are we on, like, funds for college?” Evan asked.

 

Heidi sighed, “We’re almost a quarter of the way… I could pick up an extra shift, maybe… -Oh!- and then if we get those scholarships I’ve been finding-!”

 

“Mom, what if… I took a year off…” He suggested.

 

“Oh, Ev, I don’t know…”

 

“No, it’d work out because I could get a job for the year… and get us more to put towards college.”

 

“We’ll think on it.” She promised, “We have a little while.”

 

They washed for a moment before Heidi hip-bumped Evan. “So…” She smiled wide.

 

“What?” He laughed.

 

“Does Connor’s family know?”

 

“I’m actually not sure.”

 

She took her hands out of the sink and wrapped her arms around him, “I just think this is so cute. I knew something was up ever since that sleepover!” She kissed him on the cheek, “We should invite him for dinner!”

 

“Maybe…” Evan’s cheeks glowed pink, “I’ll see if he’s free.”

 

***

 

Connor stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror, shower heating up behind him. He removed his shirt and stared at the pink and red bruises across his chest and neck. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on a little. It’s been five days and the bruises refused to let up. He didn’t mind much, he’d managed to hide the hickeys from not only his parents but Zoe as well. He hoped that they’d fade away soon because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could avoid swimming, wear hoodies in ninety degree weather, and keep a hand on his neck during dinner.

 

He hopped into the shower and cleaned off. The second he grabbed his towel to dry off he remembered he’d left his clothes in his bedroom.

 

_ Shit. _

 

He dried as much as he could, hair still dripping water onto his shoulders. He wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door, looking down the hall to see if anyone was upstairs… it seemed the coast was clear.

 

He quickly jogged down the hall but right as he reached his closed door, of course Zoe walked out of her room.

 

_ Shit shit shit. _

 

“Whoa there, Con. I’m pretty sure Evan’s the only one who wants to see your chest-” His sister snarked, but stopped suddenly. She stared for a moment, “And it seems he already has. Connor… are those… hickeys?”

 

“Yeah…” He shrugged.

 

She giggled, “Oh my god!” She doubled over in laughter, “I can’t handle this!”

 

Connor’s face went red as he walked into his room.

 

“Are those scratch marks on your back!?” She gasped.

 

“What!?” He looked over his shoulder.

 

“Just kidding!” She started laughing again. Connor slammed the door behind him, groaning.

 

He removed the towel and started getting dressed.

 

“Connor, you know I’m just joking…” Zoe sighed from behind the door, “I love you.”

 

Connor almost let a few choice words slip from his mouth but remembered the conversation he had with Evan about Zoe not feeling like she was enough. He knew Zoe was just joking… 

 

“I love you too…” He mumbled back to her.

 

Connor thought back to the night after Evan and him kissed. The second Connor got home, Zoe was berating him with questions. Still giddy from the kisses, he happily answered all of them. He knew Zoe had something to do with it and in that moment he couldn’t have been more grateful. They stayed up till two in the morning talking about all different stuff, every conversation seemed to drift back to Evan though. They got snacks, goofed around… doing whatever they wanted. They seemed inseparable that night, and Connor loved that feeling.

 

He finished putting on his clothes and brought the towel to his hair one more time before hanging it up.

 

Zoe was leaning on the doorway into her room when Connor walked out of his bedroom, “So, you had some fun while we were on the skiing trip didn’t you?”

 

Connor’s face was as red as a fresh tomato, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

 

“Okay, I’ll leave it alone.” Zoe said, knowing Connor’s limits, “You planning on telling mom and dad anytime soon?”

 

“Eh… I might tell Mom.” He shrugged, “I’d like to keep contact with Larry to a limit.”

 

“Amen to that.” She huffed.

 

Connor’s emotions raced around his head, “He can’t even handle me considering musical theatre colleges…”

 

She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I know, Con-”

 

“Well maybe now I’d fit into the stereotype he didn’t want me to fall under…”

 

“Hey.” Zoe quickly stopped Connor’s negative rambles, “Forget about Dad. Just focus on telling Mom right now. I’m sure she’ll be supportive.”

 

“Yeah…” He smiled to himself. Zoe was right, one of Cynthia’s best traits was that she supportive of everything. It shouldn’t be a big deal to tell her. She wouldn’t think any different of him, “I’ll bring it up subtly.”

 

He walked downstairs to fix himself some breakfast. Perhaps there were some Eggo waffles in the freezer.

 

He saw his Mom getting ready to leave for her yoga session.

 

“Good morning, sweetie.” She walked over to plant a loving kiss on his cheek, despite how much taller her son was.

 

“Morning, Mom.”

 

“So, Con, how’s your friend, Evan, doing?” She asked, putting protien bars in her purse and raiding the fridge for a water bottle.

 

“We’re dating, actually.” He said blatantly.

 

_ Way to be subtle. _

 

She froze for a moment. Popped her head out of the fridge and stared at Connor, “Oh.”

 

“Yeah.” He shrugged.

 

“Well then. How’s your  _ boyfriend _ , Evan, doing?” She asked again.

 

He blushed, trying to hide his adorable smile, “Good. He’s doing good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's wrapping up. I hope ya'll will keep reading till the end!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school.

His mom filled up Larry’s cup of coffee, smiling, “Everyone ready for their first day?”

 

Larry grumbled under his breath, which was a little understandable, seeing as how he had been working all summer and didn’t get a summer vacation.

 

“Yeah,” Zoe nodded, “All my teachers are really good, according to Connor.”

 

“Connor, what about you sweetie? Excited for senior year?” She placed a hand on his shoulder, causing his head to lift from the table.

 

Connor rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “Can I just stay home today?”

 

“It’s your senior year, Connor, you are not missing the first day!” She patted down his hair, which was sticking in crazy directions.

 

“Plus,” Zoe joined, mouth full of pancake, “I bet Evan’s excited to see you…”

 

Connor blushed, “Shut up…” He mumbled.

 

“And you can get A La Mode after school and talk about your day.” She mocked.

 

“Okay, I’ll go to school if you shut up about Evan!” He snapped, but inside he really didn’t mind.

 

“Zoe, leave Connor alone.” Cynthia sighed.

 

Connor smiled on the inside. Normally breakfasts before school were much worse, usually ending with a “FUCK YOU!” and Connor storming out. So the light-hearted teasing from Zoe was better than what’s happened before.

 

“I can’t wait to see him…” He mumbled, “See his blue eyes and dirty blonde hair,” He rested his head on his hand, “His smile…”

 

“Stop being so gross, I’m trying to eat.” Zoe snarked at him playfully.

 

“Okay, I think it’s time for school!” Cynthia announced.

 

When the siblings arrived to school they looked around for Evan. In past years, Zoe would’ve ditched Connor by now and Connor would’ve been hanging in the library alone.

 

“He’s  _ my  _ boyfriend!” Connor told Zoe.

 

“Well he’s  _ my  _ friend!” Zoe said back, “Learn to share!”

 

“There he is!” Connor grinned from ear to ear, “Evan!”

 

The blonde boy stood in a crowd of many teenagers in a blue striped polo. He turned his head at the sound of his name. At the sight of Connor and Zoe he immediately ran over.

 

Connor was pleased when two familiar arms wrapped around his hips. Evan buried his face in Connor’s chest, but he quickly detached.

 

“Hey babe.” Connor greeted, slinging his arm over Evan’s shoulder.

 

“Hi, Con.” His cheeks reddened, “Hi, Zoe.”

 

“Better watch that PDA around here…” Zoe warned.

 

“Oh, I-” Evan was moving out of Connor’s hold before Zoe spoke up again.

 

“I’m just kidding.” She chuckled, “I swear, you could give him a handjob in the middle of the hallway and the security guards wouldn’t notice.”

 

Evan blushed a deep red, curling back into Connor’s side. The boys shared a subtle look to each other, Connor containing his laughter.

 

“Well if isn’t Evan and Connor, the disgustingly cute couple of the 2016-2017 school year!” Spoke a familiar voice, “Oh, and an awkward third wheel.”

 

“Ugh, shut up, Jared.” Zoe snapped.

 

“Yeah,  _ can it _ , Kleinman!” Connor glared.

 

Jared laughed, which sounded more like a cackle, “Sorry,  _ Murphy _ , but with this dork on your arm… you’ve lost your intimidating facade.”

 

“Jared, just -- just leave him alone.” Evan sighed.

 

Suddenly Alana bounded up to the four teens with a bright smile, “How was everyone’s summer?”

 

Everyone collectively mumbled something along the lines of “Good.”

 

“That’s great! My summer was very productive!” She went on to tell the group about how she racked up volunteer hours.

 

Then the bell rang.

 

“See you all at lunch?” Zoe asked, including even Jared.

 

Everyone nodded and went in their own directions.

 

Connor and Evan walked together. “What class do you have right now?” Evan asked.

 

“I don’t even know.” Connor sighed, “I’ll find out when I get there.”

 

“You don’t know what order your classes are in?” Evan laughed.

 

“No. I vaguely know the room numbers.” He laughed with his boyfriend.

 

Connor walked Evan to his first class and kissed him quickly.

 

“You’re going to class, right?” The inner parent in Evan came out.

 

“Yes, but only for you.” He sighed as he started walking in the direction of his mystery class.

 

***

 

Evan finished up fifth period and walked out, now he had a free period to do whatever he pleased. He wondered what class Connor had now. With a quick text he found out that he had Advanced Tap.

 

Connor: The only class I care about. You should come watch :)

Evan: Won’t you just be getting a syllabus?

Connor: No. I was in Adv. Tap last year, she has us do some warm-up stretches and shows us some tap moves to practice at home.

Evan: Oh that’s cool.

Connor: And I’m sure you’ll get a good view during stretches ;)

Evan: I was already on my way, but now it’s going to seem like I’m only going to stare at your lovely butt, but that’s not what I’m doing. I am genuinely interested to see you tap dance.

Connor: I know, but Isn’t my butt a bonus ;) ;) ;)

Evan: Yes of course.

 

Evan giggled to himself as he headed for West Hall, where most of the arts classes were held. When he arrived, he saw Connor putting stuff in his locker. He had on a white tank top and black sweats.

 

Connor saw him and winked, “Hey cutie, here for the goods?”

 

“I said that I was interested in-!”

 

Connor brought his lips to Evan’s forehead, “I promise I’m just teasing.”

 

Connor took out a water bottle and shut his locker. They walked into the dance room, Connor held the door open for Evan.

 

“And don’t even  _ think  _ about walking on this dance floor with street shoes.” Connor warned, “Take ‘em off!”

 

Evan obliged, not wanting to face the consequences if he didn’t. Connor probably would’ve given him the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.

 

Connor walked over and sat on the floor in front of a chair. He started putting on his tap shoes before he glanced to Evan, “Can you put my hair in a bun?”

 

Evan happily agreed, sitting in the chair behind Connor and grabbing the soft and silky curls. He ran his hands through it once before pulling it all back into a tight bun. The curls were poofy in the back.

 

Connor stood up and tapped his feet a little, “These shoes have never failed me. I love them so much.” Connor smiled.

 

Evan stared up at his boyfriend, who went on talking about his four years of tap with the widest grin on his face. Evan smiled at how cute he was, it was adorable that things like this can spark such pure joy in him.

 

The instructor called everyone to the center.

 

“Class is starting,” Connor kissed Evan and jogged over to the rest of the students.

 

The teacher talked for a little, Evan didn’t really pay attention. He was too focused on staring at Connor. Evan just wanted to see him dance. He knew Connor’s tapping would be amazing, because Connor’s an amazing person.

 

Finally everyone dispersed  and they all stood ready and attentive. Evan had never seen so many high schoolers so focused. The instructor lead them through different types of stretches.

 

To Connor’s credit, Evan did get a good view. He got to see his boyfriends bright smile every time he lifted up his head. And his poofy bun bounce around through jumping jacks.

 

The warm ups lasted only a few minutes before she announced, “I did promise you all that we would tap today, so let’s get to it before the period ends.”

 

Evan didn’t understand any of what she was saying, but apparently all the students did. Occasionally he could make out the word “Flap” but that was about it.

 

He ignored the instructor and focused on whatever Connor was doing. Evan was put in a trance as he gazed longingly at him. His footwork seemed flawless, his arms flailed expertly, the smile he just couldn’t keep off his face brightened the room. Evan started blushing when Connor eventually looked over to him and winked.

 

“Like what you see?” Connor mouthed, effortlessly tapping away.

 

All Evan could do was nod.

 

Since it was the first day that meant short class periods. The class ended all too soon for Evan, when everyone was dismissed, Connor walked back over to Evan.

 

“So what do you think?” Connor asked, taking Evan’s hand and walking out of the dance room.

 

“It was amazing!” Evan blurted, “Your feet… they -- they were moving so fast -- how do you do that?”

 

Connor chuckled to himself, opening his locker, “I don’t know, I’ve been working at this for a while.”

 

“You’re so talented!” Evan smiled.

 

“Thanks,” Connor kissed his cheek, “Hey, do you want to go to A La Mode?”

 

Evan immediately answered, “Yes, totally,”

 

Connor drove Evan to A La Mode, slightly annoyed that it was originally Zoe’s idea. 

 

They got their favorite flavors and sat down.

 

Evan told Connor about his day, his first impressions of the teachers, the annoying students behind him in Algebra 2, and even the nice conversation he had with Alana in his English class.

 

Connor looked to be listening intently to every detail, he would ask questions and smile as he talked. It made Evan feel important, someone was listening to him and they cared.

 

Connor went on to tell Evan about his day and Evan listened closely. He would laugh at Connor’s sarcastic remarks and description of his teachers. 

 

“You have lots of strong opinions,” Evan laughed, eating the last scoop of his raspberry ice cream.

 

“I’m just saying that if you’re too old to understand how to use an iPhone 4 you should probably retire!” Connor stuck the rest of his cone in his mouth.

 

Even though they finished their ice cream they stayed at A La Mode for a while. It reminded Evan of their first date. When the friendship began. And as Connor went on to talk about the awful lunch food as the boys sat in their favorite ice cream shop, he realized… he could sit here and gaze into Connor’s eyes forever and be completely at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end! Wow. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this whole summer, it's awesome that you guys have been there since the beginning! This fic was really a coping mechanism to deal with the heartbrokenness from the actual show. I just needed some positive vibes from a show of such raw realness. So I hope you enjoyed this lighthearted fic as much as I did! And if you want me to do spin offs, let me know, I guess? This fic was a lot of fun and I wouldn't mind doing one-shots based on it!


End file.
